MexicoMercy

the Oldest

2012-01-31T14:46:00.000-08:00

I generally think that August is about the easiest baby ever to put to sleep. I turn on his nap/bedtime music. I stick a pacifier in his mouth. I lay him in his crib cuddled up next to a stuffed animal. I come back 5 minutes later, and he's asleep.

Saturday morning, I took 7 teens into the Golden Zone for a kids' teacher workshop. Since Kyle had to run the feeding center without me or 7 other usual helpers, he asked me to take August. It was not a fun morning for me. My teachers had a great time.

August wasn't interested in an early nap before we left. He didn't sleep in the car. We got there right about nap time. An hour later, August was cranky and awake. Knowing that sleep would be the cure, I picked him up, took him outside, and walked and patted, patted and swayed, walked and sang, while he voiced his disapproval until he FINALLY fell asleep. He took a very short nap in my arms.

When he woke up, I realized that the Golden Zone church is extremely not baby friendly. Usually we aren't there long enough for this to be a problem. But August likes to roam. He couldn't go in the bathroom or up on the stage to pull on the chords. The backroom where the workshop was being held had several wet paint cans and brushes left over, which he couldn't touch. The kitchen has sharp knives, low gas burners, and all kinds of other fun, dangerous things.

Let's just say it was an extremely long 6 hours.

Then Sunday, Kyle agreed to run the sound board since the usual guy was out of town. The Spanish service is every minute of two hours long, and to be honest, we usually arrive 30-40 minutes late. Usually that's because Kyle does a discipleship class in our colonia on Sunday mornings and then we take people to church with us, so we have ~~good~~ reason. But this Sunday, we were an hour and a half early.

Too early for August to take his usual morning nap at home. You can see where this is going. For a second day in a row, I found myself bouncing, rocking, walking, patting, swaying, praying, singing, and hoping for an extremely tired August, an hour late for his nap, to fall asleep in my arms. This time August was pissed. He screamed and screamed.

Toward the end, when I was starting to lose hope, right about the time that church actually started, I thought pretty seriously about just taking the bus home. But finally, finally, he fell asleep. So correction... August is the easiest baby ever to put to sleep at home in his crib.

During my personal sleep-baby battle, I found myself thinking, "I don't need this kind of stress." Nothing to me is more stressful than a very needy baby. Sunday was much worse than Saturday, in part because I also had Ethan.

A common scenario in our house: I'm busy trying to do something that just needs 5 more minutes of my attention- make lunch, hang up laundry, get ready to leave, whatever. August decides he needs me and grabs my leg and cries. In the middle of this scene, Ethan does something repetitive, attention demanding, or obnoxious, like banging pots on the ground, talking baby talk right in my face, or even just asking for a drink.

Ethan is just doing a usual 3 year old thing. He's not out of line. But he's continually the last straw on my camel back load. He's the easiest thing to yell at. I can't yell at the diaper bag I'm frantically trying to pack. I can't yell at the crying baby. I can yell for Ethan to go get in the car or else.

Back to Sunday, August fell asleep a couple songs into worship, relieving the tense situation. As I tried to release my tight muscles and settle into worship, I felt the Holy Spirit speaking gently, but sternly to my heart, and I was totally convicted.

Ellen, loving Ethan well is SO important. THE MOST IMPORTANT responsibility you currently have. This cannot be stressed enough. You HAVE to be patient. You HAVE to be loving and kind, even when you don't feel like it. Even when you don't want to.

As I reflected on this word, I recognized the truth behind it. What's that they say about kids being totally formed by the time they are six? At this age, August is so easy to love. He can throw my earrings in the toilet, and I'm still not really mad at him. But Ethan understands. I expect a lot out of him, because he's an exceptional human being. When he knocks his brother over in the bathtub, he knows he's doing something wrong. (Yesterday, in the middle of a peaceful brothers bath, he asked me to leave the room so that he could misbehave without getting in trouble.)

He's just started lying this week. He put a toy around August's neck this morning, and when I asked, "Did you put that on him?" He said, "No, I didn't." I said, "Yes you did. Don't lie to me." He said, "You didn't see me do it."

The kid is smart. He's also 3. Almost 4. He can write his name. He can count to 61. He speaks 2 languages for crying out loud. He's also loving and kind. He sticks up for his friends when bigger kids pick on them. He watches out for his little brother. He cries when his feelings are hurt. He wants hugs and kisses. He likes to hold my hand.

God, forgive me for my selfishness. Forgive me for my impatience. Thank you for entrusting such an incredible human being to my care. Help me visibly love him as well as I can and as well as he deserves.

Welcome to my emotional wreck

2012-01-23T20:08:00.000-08:00

I read Psalm 16 in the One Year Bible last week. Since then, I have been meditating a lot on verse 6.

"Bellos lugares me han tocado en suerte; !preciosa herencia me ha correspondido!" (I've been reading the Bible in Spanish this year.) Roughly translated: Beautiful places are mine by luck. A precious (in Spanish, precious is used to describe something astoundingly beautiful- like a sunset) inheritance has corresponded to me.

NIV translates it this way, "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance."

Somehow this verse is more powerful to me in Spanish. The emphasis is on the sheer mystery of blessing. David didn't do anything extra or special. He was just a regular guy. But God gave him a lot of great stuff. The life that he was born into was a good one.

I've been feeling like that a lot lately. I didn't do anything special to get my fantastic husband. I didn't pray more than women who are still waiting for a child. Life is not fair. I'm surrounded by people who want what I have. And I want them to have what I have! Enough money for food and the bills, a loving husband, kids, and health.

I get WorldVision update emails. They sent out a story today about a starving orphaned baby in Africa, and I just bawled! (Keep in mind, since I quit nursing in the past week, my hormones are a mess.) At the same time... what more can I do? (realistically- I know I'm not Mother Theresa.) I already live in a poor neighborhood. I already feed poor kids. Just this morning baby Cristofer smiled at me. Shortly after he was born, his mom was really struggling with nursing, but didn't have enough money for formula. I gave her some breastfeeding help, and now he's exclusively nursing, growing, healthy and strong. There is a tiny, beautiful boy, who I can point to and say- that baby is not malnourished because of my influence. But instead of feeling good about that, I'm crying about the African baby. What is my deal??

I just want life to be fair. I want everyone's boundary lines to fall in pleasant places. I want to move unjust boundary lines. I don't think all this generic idealism helps me any.

...speaking of injustice...

Pretty much every single marriage in our church is struggling. I'm so tired of hearing about jerks who spend their family's grocery money on beer and prostitutes. I'm tired of machismo men who need their egos constantly stroked, who won't bend a finger to help their wives, who won't listen, who don't trust, the list goes on.

Marriage is super hard. It is so much work. In theory, I believe that marriage is a life commitment. We choose who to love, and we can (and should) choose to love our spouse every day no matter what. Who you marry makes a huge difference in how hard it is to choose love. But nothing is impossible with God. But am I going to say that to the woman whose husband told her he would run her over with his motorcycle if she tried to find him? -Actually, in that case, he stayed away angry and lonely for 2 months, but finally came back.

I just want everyone to have a great marriage that works, with a partner who truly understands them and makes them feel loved. Then again, Jesus really needs to fill us up first, or we won't be the wife/husband that our partner needs.

Yeah, so... life is hard, unfair, and beautiful. And God is good.

I just hope that if the boundary lines ever move to not so pleasant places in my life, that I will still be able to love God and trust in his goodness.

Times They are A-Changin

2012-01-17T20:36:00.000-08:00

Two successful (so far) major life changes for us happened today.

Ethan transitioned from 2-4:30 daily nap to quiet time. He did a great job, until about the last 15 minutes, but then after we re-explained the rules, he ended up staying in the quiet time room an extra half hour! Best part, he fell asleep almost instantly tonight instead of laying in bed awake for a hour or two.

Also, I stopped nursing August. I just decided to go for it, and quit cold turkey. Four times a day to none. Actually, it hasn't been 24 hours yet, but I'm optimistic. This evening, I started to feel guilty about it (am I doing the right thing??) and offered him some milk. He bit me, and then happily returned to his sippy cup of cow's milk. So I guess that means it's time.

I'm grateful for the smooth changes, especially after our massive nap switch fail last week. August has been taking a 3 hour morning nap, and a very short afternoon nap. I wanted to try to switch him to Ethan's nap schedule, so I kept him awake until after lunch. Instead of taking 1 long nap, he barely slept at all.

Children are complicated little beings!

August Turns 1

2012-01-12T17:46:00.000-08:00

opening presents

Sunday was August's first birthday.

Good thing he won't remember it, because it was kind of a stinky day. We woke up to find a side window in our van had been shattered from some idiot doing donuts in the street the night before. Plus, Sundays are always super busy. This was no exception.

August enjoyed opening his presents- a laptop and book from G'ma and G'pa, 2 books from Uncle Aaron and Aunt Shannon, Winnie-the-Pooh blocks from Ethan, and dinosaurs from Mommy and Daddy. (Thanks everyone!) The dinosaurs are great because Ethan loves them, too, so they play great together. Their current favorite is dinosaurs attack the farm -August got a Little People farm for Christmas.

I made just under 50 cupcakes (the dog ate one... stupid dog) to take to our service Sunday night. I prayed that there would be enough! Exactly the right amount. I was a little sad that August would only get 1 cupcake (since I love leftovers), but he managed to get a bite out of a dozen different people's cakes, so I didn't feel to bad.

Last night after I put the kids to bed, I snuggled up under the covers to wait for Kyle to get home from teaching in the Golden Zone. It's been about 50 degrees here at night. I know that's not very cold, but when your house doesn't have a heater, the house is 50 degrees inside! I started reading old blog posts on my Kindle.

I realized that this goofy blog means so much to me.

I love having this record of ups and downs heartaches and triumphs. I love watching my kids grow and change.

So, with that in mind, I should write a little about what August is like these days.

He's hilarious. He loves electronics, especially laptops, phones, and remote controls. He loves dog food. He adores his brother. He wants to be free to walk everywhere. He doesn't want to be held. He walks really, really well and dangerously fast. (I know I'm overdue on some video.)

He sleeps through the night usually, (although last night he was randomly awake between 2 and 3!). But he wakes up super early in the morning... groan. He still takes 2 naps, but lately he takes a 2-3 hour morning nap, which is doing weird things for our schedule. If he would sleep in a little later, I'd try to bump him to just one afternoon nap, but when he wakes up at 6, he's a mess by 10. While I love the long nap, I don't love that the boys have different nap schedules. ug. He falls asleep so much faster than Ethan ever did at this stage, which I mostly attribute to being the 2nd baby.

He loves to eat. He loves chili, as long as it's not too spicy. He ate 3 servings for lunch today. Then he scarfed down 3 whole bananas at my neighbors house! He still nurses 4x/day, but I'm hoping that will end cold turkey in the next month or so.

He is very strong willed. He makes loud screechy noises if I don't let him go outside, or eat dog food, or play in the toilet. He does use the potty some, but he mostly goes in his diapers.

He will wave bye-bye on command. He will also make a rooster noise and a dog noise. He sort of occasionally signs "all-done", but nothing consistently.

But best of all, he's a super snuggler. I love cuddling up with him on my chest or next to me on the bed. He's so deliciously tubby and soft. I'm so, so thankful to have a wonderful 1 year old. I'm very happy to be out of the newborn phase for a while. I can't imagine life without him. He's the perfect addition to our family- all boy, loud, destructive, energetic, and full of smiles and laughter.

Well, Little Man, if you ever look back over your Mommy's notes one day, and read this, I want you to know that I love you, I love you, I love you. You are a delight. You are the most precious thing in my life. You are my favorite. (Ethan you are also my favorite, a delight, and my most precious thing, but go do something else, because Mommy is talking to August right now.)

Ethanisms

2012-01-01T12:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we took advantage of our holiday break and cleaned up our backyard. Our little patio, as they call it in Mexico, has been basically unusable for the past 5 months, and we've really missed it.

It was a long, dirty job. Both Kyle and I were fairly cranky by the end. Finding these guys didn't help. I'm not sure if it was just our crankiness or if Ethan just had a special day, but he drove us bonkers! It may have been in part because he slingshot a rock at August close range and hit him Goliath style right between the eyes...

Or because, HE NEVER STOPS TALKING. This is most frustrating when we are tired, focused on something else, and he doesn't want to listen. That was pretty much all day yesterday. But reflecting back over our day, we had to laugh at some of his Ethanisms.

Ethan got really into picking up sticks for our New Year's Eve bonfire. But he wanted affirmation for every. single. stick. "Mommy, I found a stick. Mommy, can I put this one on the pile? Mommy, look at this stick I found." He wanted me to stop what I was doing to look at each one. I kept trying to tell him, "That's great, Ethan. You don't have to tell me about every stick. You are doing a good job. Just put it on the pile." He finally got the message, and placing the next stick on the pile said, "Look, Mommy, I didn't tell you about this stick!" and at the next one, "Why can people not talk about the sticks?"

Yesterday in the car, totally out of the blue:
"Why did Jesus kill the dinosaurs?"
...uh... no clue where that came from! Has he been watching Fox News? After Daddy tried to set him straight we got: "Was the big rock a monster that killed the dinosaurs?"

At nap time after reading a book with an eagle in it:
"Why are eagles birds?"
"Why is there an eagle in this book?"
This is just a small sample of the THOUSANDS of unanswerable "why" questions we get everyday. Sometimes we have to make a no-more-questions-that-begin-with-why rule.

Another totally frustrating Ethanism happens when he is absolutely positive about something that's not true. We got our hammocks back out of storage. For some reason Ethan was convinced that we have 2 white hammocks, but ours are purple and white. He kept asking where the two white hammocks are. Daddy kept explaining that we only have these two purple hammocks right here. Ethan got really angry and yelled at him. This happens frequently. He'll yell things like: "NOW SEE HERE!" "Daddy, I ALREADY TOLD YOU!" And the worst he can dish out is, "I'm not going to be your friend anymore."

Although he talks basically constantly while he is awake, lately he has trouble listening. We usually have to ask him multiple times to do something before we get a response. Possibly a related phenomena, he repeats what he's saying over and over. Multiple times a day, I say, "I heard you the first time, Ethan." This is especially aggravating when he launches into never ending incomprehensible stories. The stories often begin, "A long time ago when I was a baby..." They continue, "I saw a dinosaur, and I killed him with a big rock. Then my sister decided that she would take my toy, but I didn't want her to do that, so I got really mad. Then the big dinosaur tried to eat her and my toy. I want to be really big. I was so strong to beat that dinosaur." He demands totally attention for these sagas. If we say anything like, "You don't have a sister," we get the response mentioned in the previous paragraph.

He also loves to explain the entire plot of a movie. "Mommy, in my movie called Franklin, Franklin tells his Mom, 'fly pie, thanks, Mom!..." and it just continues. Sometimes he'll throw out a mystery one for us to guess. "Mommy, when I was at G'ma's house, I watched a movie with a mouse. It had a fox and cat. They were trying to save the little mouse's Daddy." What? No clue, Ethan. No clue.

He likes to get very riled up. When he goes into crazy-Ethan mode, he breathes very fast (a sound effect maybe?) and runs and fake laughs. I think Daddy says, "Ethan, calm down," about 40 times a day. Usually this phase ends with someone hurt (him, August or the dog) or with Ethan in time out.

He learned from other kids that everyone should be scared of Chucky (although they pronounce it Choooky). He has no idea who Chucky is. A few days ago a little girl taught him that he should run away from "borrachos" or drunkards. When I asked him if he knew what a borracho was, he told me, "Yeah. It's just like a Chooky." He's not actually scared of either of these.

He IS afraid of what he calls the Tickle Blanket. Yesterday he asked me, "Mommy, can the Tickle Blanket open doors?" and "Mommy, can the Tickle Blanket talk?" Then he told me, "He's so scary," and later, "Why does the Tickle Blanket not have any hands." He asked me to pray that Jesus would put some angels under his bed to protect him. "I can hurt the Tickle Blanket with that broom," and "Why is he the Tickle Blanket?"

All of this came from just yesterday alone. Although most of the day, I wanted to sit Ethan on the couch with duct tape over his mouth, I admit that he is a darling little boy.

At the end of the day, when I begged him to just stop asking me questions for a little while, he said, "Mommy, I talk a lot! That's what people DO!" Yep. That's right. Especially not quite 4 year old boys. One day we'll happily reminisce on these times.

And for now, I'm secretly thankful that aside from the occasional "Mama", this one doesn't talk.

Upstairs!

2011-12-24T14:10:00.000-08:00

I've been totally ignoring my computer lately. I'm behind on email, our budget, and our website needs to be updated. Pretty much anything related to the computer hasn't been a priority the past few weeks.

We've still been doing all our regular weekly activities, plus some added Christmasy things- parties, a wedding, baptisms tomorrow, extra band practices, etc. I made Christmas cookies for all the families in our church. I love making cookies, and I knew I wouldn't do it if I didn't have to. So, I half volunteered, half was asked to make them to give out at the women's Christmas party. I made one batch a night for about 2 weeks.

Snickerdoodles shaped like Christmas trees and candy canes, gingersnaps (LOVE!), chocolate peanut cookies- these were originally going to be mint-chocolate, but peppermint is hard to come by in Mexico, I did have enough to make a little bit of peppermint bark, coconut macaroons, peanut butter kiss cookies, peanut brittle, caramel, and fudge. At the end of it all, I realized that everything delicious and sweet basically boils down to butter and sugar. There are a million delicious ways to combine those 2 ingredients.

But the main, all consuming activity that has taken a huge portion of our waking hours has been MOVING UPSTAIRS!!! WHOOOO HOOOOOOOO! Finally. The house is 95% done. There are still a few detail things here and there. The stairs still don't have a handrail for instance. Downstairs needs some work, too, but that's going to have to wait for a while.

Let's go up the stairs.

Look, Mommy, I'm great at climbing stairs, too!

Looking down the stairs from the landing. The boys' room is in front.

Kyle and I's room is in the back.

Kyle's man cave/ laboratory is behind our bedroom.

It has a very nice sized walk in closet.

Speaking of closets, I LOVE them! So wonderful to have closets again. I'm singing right now. Remember that Beauty and the Beast song- to Be Human Again. I have closets again. I have closets again. This is the closet in Kyle and I's bedroom.

It's remarkable how full the closets already are. A couple people have asked where we had all this stuff before! Everywhere. We were using every single little piece of space. Stuff piled under the beds, on top of shelves, crammed into our little shed where we couldn't ever find it. And of course the time that a mouse got in, he enjoyed all that clutter to hide in. I mopped under all the beds easily this week, and it was heavenly! In the land of spiders, cockroaches, scorpions, and dirt, it's very nice to look under the bed and know nothing is there.

This is my view out our window every morning. The sun crests that hill right around 6:45am, when I usually have two little boys in bed trying to wake me up.

This is the view from the balcony in front of the boy's room. We can see the whole street and watch the sunset over the distant hills.

Kyle made these drapes. Very nice work.

My favorite part of everything is the boys' closet. Now I have bins for all of their toys. Clean up from the craziest hurricane boy playing takes mere minutes. Best of all, Ethan can do it.

Love these bins.

Books and puzzles easily accessible.

I made the curtains.

Finally, here is the new bathroom.

TUB! Yeah!! The boys can take baths! Whooooo hooo! Although, we're having some issues getting the hot water exactly regulated. We don't have hot water anywhere else in the house except this bathroom. We about need a physics degree to figure out the temperature, because it changes dramatically based on water flow. But we're getting that figured out.

And here's the new addition to our backyard. Tiki is turning out to be a great fit for our family.

the Transition

2011-12-15T14:04:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to put this in words for a while... I struggle. I constantly balance between two worlds.

Think about the richest person that you personally know.

Who drives the nicest car? Who has the biggest house? Who has the best job? Who wears the newest, most expensive clothes? Whose kids go to that expensive school? Who spends more money that you on their hair, favorite hobbies, vacations, and entertainment?

Now think about what sort of attitudes you have toward that person. Do you judge them? Do you think "must be nice..." ? Do you feel snubbed if their Christmas present isn't amazing or if their donation to your kid's fundraiser or your walk-a-thon isn't the greatest? After all, they can afford it, right?

I admit to having had thoughts like this before.

Now Kyle and I find ourselves in the awkward position of being that person to most of our current friends. We wanted to live in the poor colonia. We could have moved to a nicer neighborhood. Class matters more in Mexico than it does in the US. It isn't so much that we are super rich, but that most people with means stay the heck out of our colonia.

Again... we are missionaries. We live off donations. It's not like missionary is the job that everyone wants right out of college to get rich quick. At the same time, we've done okay. Nearly every year our income has matched our expenses. We give a lot. We just had our newly formed board look over our budget in November. Not only was our budget approved, but they noticed that the percentage of our income that we spend on ourselves is quite low. I feel like I'm justifying...

The point is, most Americans would look at our lifestyle, our expenses, our budget, and say, "You live a modest lifestyle with modest expenses on a modest budget."

Our Mexican friends, out here in our poor neighborhood, on the other hand, look no further than our white faces before they instantly assume that we have access to unlimited dinero. Then they notice that we have a car (a used Dodge Caravan), 2 computers, plates that match, and all their assumptions are totally confirmed. They find out that we frequently travel. We own and read books. We have and use an oven, a microwave, measuring cups. Our kids each sleep in their own bed. To me, this doesn't sound so extravagant. But out here these things are not the norm.

Whenever we get back from a visit Stateside, this transition, from being a normal average Joe to being the rich friend, always takes me a while to get used to. It's uncomfortable. I find myself wanting to explain that we really aren't so well off, we're just normal, too, but everyone knows that's just not true. I guess it's all about embracing the tension.

I constantly wonder, did I give enough to Billy's fund raiser? Is Susie mad that I didn't support her walk-a-thon? -Those aren't actual examples, but the idea behind them haunts me. When I hear about some difficult situation, should I swoop in to help, and when is that just enabling? I understand the millionaire who buys off-brand jelly. It's all about telling anyone who cares that you value money, too. You had to work hard to get where you are and saving is important.

Usually, I have my wonderful husband to balance me out. I try to pray about each opportunity to help out and follow where I feel the Holy Spirit leading. Honestly, I want this tension. I want to be uncomfortable, because it reminds me how much we really do have. It makes me so grateful for the incredible blessings in my life.

It's just the transition, twice a year, that gets me. Get off the plane. Step out of the airport where the Mazatlan heat smacks my face like a furnace, and it all begins again.

11 Months

2011-12-11T15:11:00.001-08:00

August is 11 months old these days.

He's walking all over the place, although he still falls a lot. He loves to walk from the door to the fridge and back over and over again. He waves bye-bye. He signs 'more' and 'all done'. Actually, he does 'all done' a lot, sometimes before he even starts doing something he doesn't want to do!

He's still has a very happy disposition, although teething is obviously very unpleasant. He's got 7 teeth now, and #8 looks like it will break through any day now. He loves to clap and show off. He smiles and waves at everyone. He brings so much joy to our lives.

He does NOT like being taken away from Mommy. He wants to know where I am at all times. He especially doesn't like being taken away from Mommy to be passed around like a hot potato between a dozen tween girls who don't realize they can't hold him for more than 2 minutes because he weighs a ton.

24 pounds, actually. That's not official. Just what my scale said on his month birthday. He was also unofficially 29 inches tall. I measured him standing up this time, and according to my unofficial from 2 months ago, when he was laying down, he's lost an inch. I think my measurements may have some accuracy issues.

August LOVES stairs. Anytime we leave the door open, he makes a beeline for our new stairs. I wouldn't mind so much, except they still don't have a railing!

He pretty consistently takes 2 naps a day. On good days, he and Ethan take their afternoon nap together. Ah. Today is a good day.

He sleeps well at night, although he still usually wakes up to nurse once. He's eating lots of big food, but Mommy's milk is still his number 1, 4-5x a day. I'm hoping to quit cold turkey at some point after he's a year old, because I didn't like battling with my milk supply as I slowly, slowly, gradually weaned Ethan. We'll see how it goes.

I'm really enjoying August a lot at this age. He's so cuddly and tubby. He's very responsive to playing. It's great fun watching him toddle and explore. I'm very happy to be out of newborn land.

Here's a clip of some good brother time. I love having 2 boys. They are pretty great.

Poco a Poquito

2011-12-05T23:04:00.001-08:00

After getting the run around from our architect on when our house is FINALLY GOING TO BE DONE (and I'm totally whining when I say that), we decided to take matters into our own hands. Even though we have no closets, bricks where a tub should be, open containers of paint laying around along with other construction debris, no doors, no railing on the stairs, and no sink in the bathroom (we do have a working, double flush toilet, though!), tonight we are sleeping in our new bedrooms!

We set up the kids' beds- good bye futon! Kyle and I bought and installed a new bed, since our old one will now be a part of the guest suite. Kyle also installed a medicine cabinet and 3 curtain rods. I sewed 1 set of curtains. It's fairly obviously home made, but I'm pretty stinkin proud of myself. And just because Christmas is more important (or at least more fun) than cleanliness and organization, we set up our Christmas tree. Sad to say that this year is yet again an artificial year, but we're quite happy with the results.

Feels so great to be up here. I love our house. I really like this new bed, too. I think I will go enjoy it now. Good night!

2 giant weeks

2011-11-25T19:55:00.001-08:00

I love turkey. We enjoyed a really super thanksgiving home with our families, but I'm ready to go home. We've been on the States for 2 weeks. I can't believe the difference 2weeks makes in a baby's life. August took 3 unassisted steps for the first time 2weeks ago, and now he could almost be called a toddler. He's also begun signing in the past 2 weeks. More, all done, and hungry. Wow. He's getting so big.I got a kindle fire for Christmas and my birthday. I love it. But it is hard to type on!

Becoming a Woman

2011-11-17T18:02:00.001-08:00

Today I became a woman. After 27 years of being the only one, today I conformed. Today I joined the rest of the world. Never again will a cranky old man assume I'm a pretty boy.

I got my ears pierced.

Yep. The usual, normal, what they do to 3 month old babies in Mexico. I felt a little bit silly. Like I should have done this 20 years ago. I felt nervous when the lady couldn't hold the mirror because her hands were shaking. She apologized and mentioned that she needed to eat. hmmm.

It worked out.

Unite At States

2011-11-15T22:08:00.001-08:00

(that's how Ethan pronounces this country's name)

I like visiting the US. We had a really great time in Minnesota.
Great visit with Ben and Lauren.
Great visit with Jeff and LeQue.
Awesome time at the Cause conference. Super great host couple made us feel right at home.

The boys and I all instantly caught colds, also aggravated by cat exposure (at least mine).
August is super hard-core teething. Last night he was awake and mostly crying from midnight until he finally dropped off a little before 4am! We've had a couple other health issues- all minor, but annoying.

I LOVE seeing all our family. It feels great to get to talk, hug, make music together, eat- SO MUCH EATING, laugh, read, watch tv, just be a family.

I wish that August were on top of his game to really enjoy being Grandma's chubby baby. Here's hoping he feels better very soon.

I'm thinking about Mexico a little more this trip. I wonder how people are. How our house is going. Life here feels swanky to me now. I'm enjoying my swanky break.

Kyle is sporting No-Shave November. We just found out a couple days ago that most people do it for prostate cancer awareness. Now we are aware!

I'm not very profound tonight... maybe I should go to bed.

Today

2011-11-07T21:35:00.000-08:00

Wow, I needed a break today. Between about 8 and 11, I just laid on the bed watching August crawl back and forth between the bed and the couch. Whew. I love a relaxing day off.

Today:

I woke up before 6 (curse you Daylight Savings), and lucky for me, 10 minutes before the babies woke up, so I got to go for a run! I ran 36 minutes. That means that physically, I am capable and up to snuf for the Turkey Trot. It even got me thinking half marathon for a minute... but let's not over commit.

We found a dead rat outside. I'm more used to mice. This guy could have eaten a chihuahua. I took a picture, but I'll spare you.

I packed for our trip and tried to imagine being cold.

The guys poured our stairs!

I found Ethan's old Sesame St. potty insert, and August pooped on it for the first time.

See how proud!

Please ignore the banana smeared all over his shirt.

Best part... EASY clean up. 1 sheet of tp and a flush.

LOVE!

...where to begin?

2011-11-05T15:15:00.000-07:00

Basically since late July, we have been "busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest" as Mr. Smith would say.

Cool stuff is happening. More than normal. At least what we've known as normal for the past 4 years.

So much good stuff, that when I sit down to think about it... I barely know what to say.

"Lemme 'splain. (pause) No. Theer ees too mush. Lemme sum up." (Princess Bride)

In the past month:

Marielena asked Jesus into her heart. She forgave her husband's former girlfriend (who also has started coming to church regularly with us.) At Alpha Holy Spirit day, that woman apologized in her own way. Now the two women are both excited about what God has in store for them, and have left behind all the garbage from the past.

That woman (the former girlfriend), Sandra, has epilepsy. She had a powerful experience at AHS day. Javier, Esther's husband, was overcome with emotion while praying for her.

Javier has been coming regularly to church since then.

Antonia and Esther had a rough patch a few months ago. They have totally reconciled and are excited to continue serving together. Antonia met and reconciled with her two adult daughters whom she has not seen in 34 years.

Adriana and Damian both had a pretty powerful AHS day and have been coming regularly to everything they can, despite having 4 small children.

Yolanda... wow. She may need her own post at some point. Suffice to say she had a major break through after some intense prayer this week. She's leading the women's Bible study for the first time in a couple weeks.

I'm forgetting more of the amazing stories...

If I could sum up the past month, I would say OWNERSHIP. La Viña de Doña Chonita is MY church. That's how all those people above feel. They have come to help work, paint, and plant trees this past week.

Thank you to Louis, Nolan, Heather, Dennis, Scott, Connie, and Donna for putting up all the walls on our future classrooms! Three classrooms and the bathrooms. Incredible!

We had an amazing Holy Spirit encounter with a cholo punk kid. The first night after the Duluth team (thanks, guys!) started on the mural on the side of the building, he got caught vandalizing it. The next day, high from huffing paint, he dropped his pants and flashed all the Americans while they worked! But that night, he came to our small group. I say small group, but we had 45 Mexicans there, plus the American team. He hung around most of the night, and let us pray for him. He dropped to the floor crying as we told him about how much God loves him and has a plan and a hope for his future.

Hopelessness kills teens in my colonia.

In the past month, we've managed to pull off so many events: powerful and intimate Encounter God retreat, Alpha Holy Spirit day, a baby shower, a Hallelujahween party, 2 teams here painting, praying, and building. It's been super intense. ...I'm overwhelmed thinking about it all and I've been here the whole time! How do I begin to describe to someone else everything that's going on?

On Wednesday we head up into chilly northern lands. We're going to the Cause Conference in Duluth, Minnesota. My todo list before Wednesday is about 3 miles long... Not helped by the fact that our house construction makes me feel like I live in a house from this show.

whew.

Part of me doesn't want to leave. So much is going on here. I love everyone so much. I want to keep checking up on everyone and encouraging them all. But, then I remember that our family doesn't really know August yet. Met him, yes, but know him. Well... that's pretty exciting.

Cute Things Ethan Says

2011-10-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

"H", August, and Ethan playing on the construction workers motorcycle.
Notice that August is holding a plastic chicken leg... he loves that thing.

I think it's time for an Ethanisms segment.

Ethan asks about a 1000 questions a day. Usually, I'm good with that. I like curiosity. But sometimes I have to tell him he's not allowed to ask anymore questions that start with "why".
Why is the penguin a girl? (after watching a penguin movie)
Why is it nap time?
Why are trees?
Why can August not have my food?

I was thinkin' about... He loves this phrase.
I was thinkin about watchin a movie. (Which really means, can I watch a movie?)
I was thinkin I might have to pee.
I was thinkin about Ninja Turtles and dinosaurs.

He doesn't quite have the hang of when to use "like".
I smell, like, raw chicken. -Funny on several levels, because he misses the pauses, making it sound like he stinks. Plus, he doesn't know what raw chicken smells like, I don't know where he came up with that.

I might be hungry. (Then 5 minutes later...)
Mommy, why did you don't get me some food?!

He can't wait to go see his grandparents.
Mommy, when is it November? When we go to the Unite-at Stays I will show G'ma my picture I made her.

Ethan really speaks Spanish now. For about 6 months last winter and spring, he struggled. He's over the hump now and speaks Spanish more clearly even than some of his 3 and 4 year old Mexican friends.

Remember that cutie I mentioned a while back... I might be in denial. She and Ethan have a special relationship. They both get very excited when they see each other. Nothing weird about that. Mr. Social gets excited to see any friend. But, Monserrat is the only friend that he frequently puts his arm around. The other day, I caught him outside the church fence where he is not supposed to go.
"But Mommy, I was just getting Monse some flowers," he pleaded. I then noticed Cutie-Pants patiently waiting by the back door, several wildflowers in her hands. "Look, I got one for you, too, Mommy."

Excuse me while my heart melts.

What do I feed this kid?

2011-10-19T19:48:00.000-07:00

August

Feeding a 9 month old is hard! It's such an awkward stage. He can only eat a few things by himself- Cheerios, crackers, thin slices of watermelon. I let August have his first Oreo the other day. I knew it wouldn't kill him because Ethan found a stash of Oreos once when he was a little tyke.

Ethan lost weight somewhere vaguely between 8-11 months. I cut back his nursing schedule to start a slow wean. I replaced those calories with baby cereal and Gerber veggies.

It's a math problem. August gets somewhere around 700 calories a day from breastmilk. An entire jar of baby calabacitas (kind of like zucchini) which August loves has 8 total calories. If I wanted to replace his entire diet with little Gerber veggie jars, I would have to feed him 88 jars a day!

Ethan 7 months

I just have to ask... what is the point? Why buy baby food at all at this stage? I mean, August likes it, but he likes lots of things. So I quit. I'm not buying baby food anymore. I also haven't ever given August any baby cereal. Again, what is the point? It's just random processed starch. Extremely limited nutritional value. He gets plenty of vitamins from my milk, which also has protein, antibodies, and other good stuff. Not to mention he can absorb those vitamins better than fortified ones.

Especially since he spent the last month on three different amoebacides and then got his first (I think) cold which ended in bronchitis and 2 bottom teeth... he's been nursing more than ever. (Yes, he's finally healthy again I think, thanks for asking.)

But I'm tired of nursing. Not the nursing so much as the being so limited in how long he can hang out with other people before he needs Momma.

Mostly I just give him pieces of soft fruit, Cheerios, small swallowable pieces of meat and soft veggies. Sometimes he eats a little yogurt or cheese, a little bread or tortilla. But mostly we don't eat that much starch anyway. I try to plan out meals around healthy protein and veggies with a little mostly whole wheat whatever if the meal needs it. We rarely eat pasta anymore.

Since you can't get canned pumpkin in Mexico, but you can get a whole pumpkin, I started pureeing my own pumpkin for pies on our first Thanksgiving here. We froze around 15 cups of pumpkin last night. August LOVED it. He ate a ton of fresh pumpkin puree. I made some smoothies today with pumpkin juice. They were really good actually. August likes smoothies a lot. I found that out on Monday night when we had our beach picnic, and August drank half of my smoothie.

Ellen's Favorite Smoothie:
-that 1 old, brown banana that no one wants to eat
-fill the blender half full with frozen mango chunks
-other half frozen strawberries (whole)
-pour in whatever juice sounds good- sometimes I use OJ, cranberry, today I tried pumpkin, and it was delish!

A good portion of that pumpkin is probably going to make a bazillion pumpkin spice lattes this winter. Kyle found a great recipe that we love. Yum.

Back to August... I struggle with volume. Shovel, shovel, shovel into the baby's mouth, 3,4,5 times a day... it's a lot of work. I want him to eat it himself! But so far, although he will pick up finger food, purees are just finger paint.

I personally know a mom who didn't let her baby have ANY solid food at all the first year. Contrast that with little baby Mateo who Felix was feeding pork beans at 2 months. Probably it doesn't matter too much. The kids turn out fine in the end, I guess. But still, I'll be relieved when he's got a mouth full of teeth.

Faces

2011-10-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

Today, this woman asked Jesus to come live in her heart for the very first time.

She doesn't normally use a pacifier. This picture was taken during a baby shower game on Saturday.

Her name is MariaElena, and that's her difficult, but sweet son, Immanuel trying to steal the binky. He frequently puts his fingers in his ears and screams at the top of his lungs just to see how people react.

He came over to play with Ethan for a while today. They actually do really well together.

This is Paty. She's going to have a little boy any day now.

See that dangerous half-pint at her side? That's Monserrat. Ethan got in trouble Saturday morning for kissing her on the mouth. An older boy promised Ethan a sucker to do it, but that doesn't explain why he tried twice!

When we were finally ready to go home Saturday night, we found Ethan with his arm around her sitting happily outside, swinging their feet.

I wasn't expecting to deal with this at three years old...

I know she looks sweet. Don't be fooled by the cuteness. She's danger.

A Little Bit of Everything

2011-10-17T19:43:00.000-07:00

I have so many things I want to post about and haven't gotten a chance to this past week!

-Our amazing, crazy weekend- the usual Saturday, Sunday busy stuff plus a baby shower and an Encounter God retreat. Totally awesome, but completely exhausting.

-My on going battle with copious amounts of dust and debris.

-Cute things that Ethan has been saying lately.

-Why I love E.C., but am still totally lazy about it.

-Mexican discipline and my thoughts about disciplining children.

-A post pondering the possible reasons and solutions to August waking up at least half an hour before the sunrise everyday this past week.

But instead of posting, I'm going to go lay in bed and watch a movie with my husband. I might even have a glass of wine. Because I'm beat. I'm happy, but beat.

And because I'm missing Curtis Orchard and fall like crazy right now, I just have to share a picture I took tonight and remind myself, I live HERE!

Exciting Day for Pests

2011-10-07T07:11:00.000-07:00

I realize I run the risk of becoming a one-topic blog. I get that this post may seem a little repetitive. But I can't get over it!

I've never been a church janitor before. Maybe finding lots of creepy crawlies happens everywhere. But I'm still pretty surprised and a little excited about all the critters who made an appearance in la Viña de Doña Chonita yesterday.

First Carmen found two large copulating scorpions behind the couch while she was cleaning the church. Despite the awkwardness of finding them in a compromised position, she killed them both. Which brings our inside the building, deadly scorpion count up to 22 killed since June.

Next, while Kyle was running a guitar workshop, I started poking around the "gecko nest" where I found the tarantula legs last week. We had mostly cleaned it up, but I've been fascinated by tarantulas since the first time I saw one out in the wild several years ago, which is great story in and of itself. I just wanted to see if there was any more evidence, because I found it hard to believe that a little bitty gecko could eat a giant spider.

I saw some feces that looked really large. The reminded me of chinchilla poop, from my dear sweet Mibe, who I absolutely adored. But I just figured that after eating a tarantula, the poor gecko had to process all that stuff. It had to come out somehow. Then I noticed an awkward nail sticking out of the back of an old window a/c unit sitting on the floor. The nail moved.

Closer inspection revealed what I had been denying ever since I found then nest. No gecko ate that spider. It was a RAT! Not a mouse, a full size rat! After that, Felix, Kyle, and I all ran around trading August for a shovel, trying to kill the thing mid-scurry, and then running away screaming and throwing the shovel to someone else. I don't think any of us really wanted to kill it that badly. I mean, it's not good to have a rat inside the church, especially with the kitchen... But on the other hand, I kept thinking of Ratatouille. It finally outwitted us and hid behind something. We'll have deal with that sometime soon.

FINALLY, last night, after small group, Ethan wanted a drink. Everyone else had gone, and I turned back to the kitchen to get some water. When I turned and headed back for the door, I finally saw what I had been waiting for. Waiting with anticipation. Waiting in eager excitement since I first saw those hairy, jointed legs.

Tarantulas are really cool animals. I hope I never find one in my house, but they are really, really cool. I tentatively scooped him into an old yogurt tub, because I didn't have my camera with me, and took him home. We did an impromptu photo shoot out in the street in front of our house, but most of the pictures didn't turn out in the dark. Then I scooped him up again. Ethan and I set him free out behind the soccer field. So cool, but I'd rather not see him in the church.

Good Finds

2011-10-04T13:39:00.000-07:00

Some people may be excited about finding a great sale on some cute pants. I'm not really at that place in life right now. Not that I don't like a sale, but I never go shopping. At least not in Mexico. At least not for pants.

Anyway...

Last week I found:

a tooth! August's first baby tooth. I'm loving the later teething. It hasn't phased him at all.

7 hairy, jointed legs. I don't know what happened to the eighth leg. But, I'm very pleased to find out that lizards eat tarantulas. Not quite as excited about finding that INSIDE our church building.

On the other hand, I'd rather find a tarantula than a scorpion. Although, now that the count is up to 20 -that's 20 scorpions killed inside our church building since June- I'm not nearly as afraid of them as I was. (at least 20... it's getting harder to remember them all.)

Great finds.

Maturity

2011-09-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while, I grasp a moment where I suddenly see myself with clarity. My perspective grows to the size I wish it could always be. The most sustained moment of this kind took me by surprise after the shock and pain of my c-section, when I believed with every fiber of my being that God would give me a natural birth. I realized in the difficult weeks that followed how little I know and understand about God. He grew so big, but yet so near to me. I felt my smallness in the grand scheme of a giant world. My attitude changed from that of a selfish child demanding that Daddy give me a cookie to that of a child full of wonder and fear, awestruck by the splendor and enormity of the world, yet nestled safely in Daddy's lap.

It's really hard to stay in that place. Even the most amazed child gets hungry. I tend to get more selfish and me focused the more I surround myself with all my needs, goals, and plans. That's a natural part of life. But I still appreciate those precious moments of clarity, and I try to cling to them when my life feels overwhelming.

This morning, Bert Waggoner spoke to the Mexican Vineyard pastors and leaders. Kyle and I both felt encouraged, especially given our recent personal struggles. He spoke about this verse:

Micah 6:8
⁸ He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

I've thought about this verse before, but its simplicity is so powerful, that it gets me every time. What does God actually want from me? It's right there in black and white. Do good wherever I can and as best as I can. Be merciful and loving. Finally, connect with God as often, regularly, humbly as possible.

I don't really know Bert. But from what I know, he seems to live this verse out. He's also been alive much longer than I have. I wonder if godly maturity just means living in that clarity. Living where moments of grand perspective out number the mundane everyday moments. To me, that's what this verse encourages. God is so nice to me. I get caught up in making goals and stressing myself out about meeting them or not. But that doesn't seem to ruffle God. As long knowing him and doing what he asks is my goal everyday, the rest will fall into place.

Home Improvement

2011-09-28T15:16:00.000-07:00

I haven't mentioned our house construction too much, but it's majorly affecting our lives.

I am so, so, so super stoked that we are basically doubling our square footage from around 600 sq. feet to a modest, but far more comfortable 1200. Just for comparison, here's a very nice, roughly 1200 sq. ft. house in Champaign. When I looked for a 600 sq. ft. house in Champaign to compare, I could only find 800 sq. ft. condos.

But other than knowing that our dream will someday be a reality, everything about living in a construction zone sucks. Especially with a highly mobile 8 month old who will eat anything and everything he can get his hands on. Our doors are always open. Our floors are always dirty. Our neighbors hate us for the constant hammering, dust, and the major eye sore from the street. (Ain't she a beaut?)

Originally, we thought the whole project might be done by mid-November, but now I'm just hoping it will be done by New Year's. Oh how I hope.

To throw a positive spin on our temporary discomfort, here are some of the things I'm really looking forward to when the whole project is finally finished:

closets. I hate clutter. I am not a hoarder. I am quick to throw things away. Kyle likes to hang on to things. He especially like to acquire old things. (Why watch a movie in thrilling HD when you can see it on Beta?) We balance each other well. But even with a nice balance, we've got maternity clothes under the bed, exercise equipment under the couch, baby toys under the crib, blankets on top of a wardrobe... you get the idea. Our home addition will take the number of closets in our house from 0 to 5. Very excited.

bathtub. Ethan and August love to take baths, but Ethan's long legs don't fit in our little plastic basin anymore. I'm looking forward to bubbles and bath toys for the boys. The new bathroom will also be equipped with hot water, which we currently only have in one shower and no faucets.

porch (sort of). Around 7pm, when everything starts to cool off a little and people get home from work, everyone sits outside. Houses are hot. Post construction, I'll be able to relax and enjoy the evening air from our little balcony (pictured above) or underneath it on a yet to be built bench.

safe baby space. August successfully swallowed, whole, a 2 inch long spine from our lime tree. I found it in his poop. In my World's-Worst-Mother award acceptance speech, I will defend myself by saying that I watch my boy like a hawk. I don't let him down just anywhere and certainly never outside. I don't know what shoe the spine came into our house on. I don't know where August found it. I don't know how he swallowed it. He never gave me reason to believe that anything hurt. I only know that the spine successfully traveled, unbroken, through his entire digestive tract, leaving him unharmed. Upstairs, in my new little boys' room, at least in my head, is a totally crawler/toddler friendly space full of carefully disinfected, age appropriate toys. I might even get a dorm room style rug for friendly crawling.

school space. Ethan missed going to his first year of kindergarten this fall by just a couple months. Next year, he'll be among the oldest in his class. Mexico starts kids at 3 or 4, but they have 3 years of kindergarten before they go to elementary school. Since I'm planning to home-school half time, I need a fun, well-organized, school area. Right now, Ethan loves "school time" with Mommy. He recognizes a few words. He can do some extremely simple math. He sort of writes his name. But, I'm very sporadic and undisciplined at this stage. If I'm serious about home schooling, I need a serious space where Ethan knows school is in session.

guest suite. Most people who come to visit us stay for at least a week. That's a long time to sleep on the top bunk over a 3 year old. That's a long time to share a bathroom with a 3 year old, who often forgets to flush and has some wild aim in the morning. With our new addition, guests who visit us will have their own roomy bedroom downstairs, complete with air conditioning, a private bathroom and shower, a comfy double bed and hopefully a tv. While that room will also double as our school area and a downstairs play space when we don't have guests, the door does have a lock. Visiting introverts can have as much quiet time as they want.

Ahhhh, someday. I feel like I'm pregnant day dreaming about my new baby! Just to be clear, I'm not pregnant. Just having a house baby. Very much looking forward to that.

Failure

2011-09-22T15:37:00.000-07:00

Kyle and I went through part of our massive resource pile this week. We want to start some more intensive discipleship training and develop some new leaders. We have a plethora of notes, classes, worksheets, studies- completely overwhelming and 98% in English.

In the middle of that pile, I randomly came across some personal reflections I wrote last summer.

June 23, 2010
"I'm so tired of feeling like a failure. I don't know how to reach [names of specific people]. I feel like I have nothing to say... What do I have to offer?"

Then I wrote a list:
My Major Prayer Requests
-healthy development to full term for this baby
-no more nausea or infections
-the right doctor/midwife to attend us
-a healthy, safe, natural home birth
-a new van, successful sale of the truck
-Kyle safe trip to the border
-Ethan to learn and grow well
-walls for the church
-30 new Christians
-some semblance of success, especially with youth & a break through with boys & men

Looking over this list, I'm stunned. Nearly everything I was praying for 15 months ago has happened! My pregnancy with August, his birth- all complete answers to prayer. Our truck sold super fast. We got a great new van which we initiated into our family by driving it 2000 miles in a few days. Kyle's miserable border trip was one of the longest days of his life, but despite multiple flat tires and driving through the rain with no windshield wipers and making it to the border a little after midnight only to have to wait through more than an hour of inspection, he did make it safely. Ethan has grown a lot. The church has walls. We have a Sunday service. We've baptized 8 people since then. Attendance has grown little bit by little bit. When I wrote this, our youth group was 3 people. Now we're running 20-25! Although we will probably always have more women involved than men, we've got 5 new guys.

I guess I needed to find this, because the past couple weeks I've been really struggling with feeling like a failure again. I go through a cycle where I get totally discouraged and bummed out. I get some prayer. I feel peace. Then I get myself all worked up again. Maybe I'm an embodiment of the already and not yet aspect of the Kingdom of God.

This leaves me wondering... will I ever feel successful? Do I need to feel successful? Am I actually not really accomplishing what I want to accomplish because of something that I can change? Or do I just generally feel discouraged?

Never too young for a little Lewis

2011-09-20T20:17:00.000-07:00

*update* Apparently Amazon is having some link issues. Unfortunately, I had to take out the pictures (which weren't working anyway). But at least you can read my book recommendations.

I miss libraries.

C-U has such a great system of libraries. If you live in the C-U area, please go to the library this week and appreciate it! Think of me.

Anyway... Every night at bedtime, we read the same books over and over and over. Ethan has a lot of books. And we have some great ones that I don't mind hitting once or twice a week.

Jennifer and Josephine, Guess How Much I Love You, The Pigeon Wants a Puppy, Skippyjon Jones, 1 Zany Zoo

But still... I feel the need for some variety!
Even though not quite 3 and a half seems a little young, I decided to try out a picture-free classic.

I have fond memories of my father reading the Narnia books to me as a child. One more page, pleeeeeeease! Plus, after my recent soul-searching lion exchange, maybe I'm feeling a little more connected to the story.

Ethan LOVES it. He asks when it's going to be naptime or bedtime so we can read a chapter. I admit it, I enjoy it, too. Spoiler alert- tonight the White Witch killed Alsan. Ethan was totally wrapped up in the story. "What's going to happen? Why is Alsan letting them hurt him?" I had to read a few pages after the end of the chapter to make sure that Aslan didn't stay dead.

I do tone down the 1950s English from England a little bit. "Lucy felt a bit queer." becomes "Lucy felt strange." And, we stop every so often to make sure Ethan's catching the gist.

Tonight I read, "'I feel as if something horrible is hanging over us,' said Lucy." Ethan asked, "Was it a monkey?" ha ha

Ethan & August, 8 mo. comparison

2011-09-16T20:11:00.000-07:00

8 months old is a fun age. I like 8 month old babies. They are tubby, responsive, mobile, and vocal. But they are still cuddly little babies who take multiple daily naps.

Every child is different. Here are some similarities and differences between Ethan and August at 8 months old.

Ethan had more hair.

Ethan had more teeth. (August: 0, Ethan: 7!)

August has more chub. Mr. Double-chin vs. Mr. Skinny legs

Both were/are highly mobile and into everything. Everything goes into his mouth!

Both are friendly and loving, full of smiles, and happy to spend time with non-parents (assuming they are well fed, not sleepy, and have a clean diaper).

It's a good age.

In other news, August learned how to clap yesterday, and now he applauds everything.

High on August's gotta have it list:
-USB or phone charger cables
-paper
-cups
-flip flops

As you can imagine, this makes my life exciting. It seems like he can always find something he's not supposed to have.

Here's an 8 month old video of August and Mateo crawl racing this morning.

Amebiasis

2011-09-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

Can I tell you how tired I am of looking up some disease or symptoms and reading this?
"This condition occurs worldwide, but it is most common in tropical areas with crowded living conditions and poor sanitation. Africa, Mexico, parts of South America, and India have significant health problems associated with this disease."

Sigh.

Our entire family has been infected with Entamoeba histolytica, a parasitic amoeba that destroys tissue in the intestines. I'll spare you the details, but this past week we've gotten to know our commode by its first name, (which is John). Ha! *groan.

Once it hit August, we finally broke down and went to the doctor. One stool sample and two doctor visits later, we know the name of our gastrointestinal assassin. As a family, we're taking pretty intense amoeba poison.

I don't know when or how we were infected. Could be anything. I'm often surprised and concerned by the state of my friends' bathroom... Where do you wash your hands?? But I think we've had these guys living inside of us for a while... at least a week. Maybe even a couple months.

I saw a video of myself last week and thought that I looked a little emaciated. But I told myself that I'm still coming down from pregnancy. I'm nursing. And who doesn't like a little weight loss? But when I hit 10 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight and none of my pants fit... well, I knew something was wrong.

I realize that I'll have a tough sell getting sympathy for unintentional weight loss. If anyone is interested in shedding those unwanted pounds, I'd be happy to loan you some parasites. I suppose intentional parasitic infection is no less extreme than stomach surgery.

Anyway, what this makes me realize... again... is that if my family, with our American standards of cleanliness, understanding of the germ theory, relatively clean bathrooms, relatively good hygiene, and safe cooking methods, can get parasites... What about all our neighbors? What about everyone in our church? We have the means to go buy meds to kill these things, what about people who don't? Amoebic dysentery kills babies all over the world. My precious, chubby, delight of a baby currently has a deadly disease. I have every reason to expect a full recovery with no permanent side effects. But lots of moms- people that I personally know- should be worried when this hits their kid.

Last week I found out about a pre-mature baby who died because the main hospital in Mazatlan, which delivers thousands of babies every year, DOESN'T HAVE AN INCUBATOR! How is that possible?? I mean, isn't an incubator basically just a plastic box with a light bulb? Come on!

Okay, coming off my soap box now. I think I'll go eat a brownie; my amoebas are hungry.

Deep and Wide

2011-09-02T21:22:00.000-07:00

Last week I read this article, a teaser for this book. (Hint... great Christmas present for me!) Thanks to Dirk for linking it.

It struck me as profoundly true. I can't stop pondering these conclusions.

My quick summary: As people, we all think that we are deep. We think that our friends and family members don't really understand us. We think that most of our depth is hidden from them. Yet at the same time, we feel like we uniquely understand them.

If we are an iceberg, we reveal less than half of ourselves, but we think that other people reveal more than half of themselves.

I relate to this totally. I love to psychoanalyze situations and people's responses. I'm constantly probing for the deeper motives behind the actions I see.

Yet at the same time, I don't necessarily feel totally understood. I feel mysterious, or maybe just unknown. I don't particularly feel misunderstood, at least most of the time. But when I'm in a conversation, I'm listening for the deeper meanings behind the words. At the same time, I'm trying to portray and present my opinion in the best possible way for it to be accepted while understanding that I am spinning my story.

I do this all. the. time.

Kyle and I met when we were 14 years old. We are rapidly approaching the mark where we will have spent more of our lives together than apart. My neighbor recently found out that her husband of 16 years was married before he married her and had a grown daughter and a new baby granddaughter. Obviously, she was shocked. She told me, "Imagine you found out that Kyle had a kid before he met you!" Although I certainly felt sympathetic to her situation, I couldn't imagine pre-pubescent Kyle knocking someone up. The idea was laughable. In fact, Kyle and I shared a good chuckle about it later.

My point is... I have intentionally revealed as much of my iceberg as I possibly can to Kyle. When I have terrible dreams that I don't ask for... nightmares that leave me baffled, wondering how something so twisted or perverse could end up in my head, I tell Kyle. Sometimes it takes me a couple days. But he knows everything of me that I can share. Yet at times we still completely misunderstand each other. Even this morning, I cranked at everyone because I was ticked off, and he totally misguessed why I was upset.

I'm trying to remember this when I begin to psychoanalyze. We are such extraordinarily complex beings, and I can't possibly understand everything that is going on beneath the surface. Something to ponder.

I bet you think I'm deep now, right?

Some wet numbers

2011-08-29T16:46:00.000-07:00

According to our newspaper, we got 9 inches on rain Saturday night, the most rain in one night since 1906. I believe it! This rainy season has certainly been wet. It didn't rain last night or today, thankfully, but the humidity is 96%. This picture is from a few weeks ago. I didn't go outside to take pictures Sunday morning, but Sunday evening, the entire church inside was covered in water, so I think the water level was up past the doors!

These two pictures are from today's paper.

11 scorpions killed inside the church in the past month or so. 1 last night. Shiver.

150 calories in a serving of my current favorite snack food: wheat berries. Sometimes I'm not hungry, but I feel munchy. Wheat berries to the rescue. They keep my jaw occupied (and working out, b/c they pack a serious crunch.) for way longer than a typical snack. I like to eat just a couple at a time. I pretend I'm walking behind Jesus in a field, pulling off heads of wheat (thanks, Mom). I usually eat way less than a serving, so I'm getting all the pleasure and enjoyment of eating, plus extra fiber, without loading on the calories. They are a little pricey, but last for a LONG time.

3 pieces of cake, I ate at some sort of event in a dream I had last night. Best cake ever. Again, all the pleasure and enjoyment of eating, calorie free. I wish I could dream that cake every night. MMMmmm.

Speaking of food and rain... We took the boys to the city park for a picnic lunch today.

With all the rain, the park was mostly flooded. The lagoon where, on other visits, we've gone turtle spotting, had come up over the wall and sidewalk. This eerily reminded us of rumors we've heard about a crocodile eating a child there.

I did a little research this afternoon and discovered that we should indeed be wary! Spanish doesn't distinguish between crocodiles and alligators, so I just assumed that the animals we've seen in parks were gators. I didn't think that crocodiles lived in the Americas. Turns out, I was thinking of the man-eating Saltwater Crocs. True, in Florida and Louisiana, the sketchy swamp guides will show you gators, but I don't live in Florida. Here on the Pacific, we have American Crocodiles. According to NatGeo, you can tell an American Croc from a gator by the two teeth sticking up from the bottom jaw, visible even with its mouth closed.

I took this picture. See the teeth? He's a croc for sure.

I also found out that a crocodile killed a 5 year old boy a few years ago in a city about 300 miles down the coast from us. These stories are fairly rare, relative to other crocodile species, but they do happen.

And I found out that a crocodile swam out of the lagoon and onto the street with all the crazy rain just a month ago!

So turns out the story, while still possibly urban legend, is at the very least totally plausible. Good thing we didn't let Ethan go anywhere near the water. Not that he wanted to. He's not interested in becoming crocodile bait.

4 nights left in our 28 day ordeal! Tonight Madga, a professional counselor and all around awesome lady is guest teaching. I've got to get a picture of me playing the bass.

Cruisin

2011-08-28T20:57:00.000-07:00

Every baby is different. Little Mateo already waves bye-bye and has 2 teeth.

August is not into teeth. He's not into bye-bye. He's into moving. He not only crawls all over the place, he's a proficient cruiser. Stick this kid on the ground, propped up on the couch, and he will go up and down from one side to the next, and if he feels really brave, even reach carefully for the nearby chair and make a cool transfer. He pulls up and sits down. He's Mr. Go-go-go.

He's so friendly! He loves people. He loves his brother. He loves his parents.
Today he was jabbering in the car on the way home from church. Kyle said, "What do you think he's saying?" Without missing a beat, Ethan replied, "He's talking about bears." D'uh. As if we couldn't hear. ha ha

Speaking of Ethan, he's Mr. Sweetie-pants. All these nights in a row at the church are wearing on him, but he's a trooper. Last night he and August and I walked home from the church while Kyle ran an errand. It was about 9pm and raining gently. We sang "Raindrops are falling on my head!" at the top of our lungs and danced in the street.

When we got to the house, I got Ethan some food and went to nurse August. Ethan doesn't like to be out in the kitchen alone at night (or anywhere for that matter) especially in a thunderstorm. But I didn't want him to bring his food into his room. Five minutes later, Ethan yelled, "Mommy! Jesus talked to me!"
"Really? What did he say?"
"He told me to hurry and finish my food so I can go in the room with you and August and not be out here alone."
About 30 seconds later, Ethan finished up his food and ran into his room. "But Mommy, I wasn't really out there alone. Jesus was with me!"
Awww. I guess all those nights at church are paying off?

Finally, I haven't talked about EC with August nearly as much as I did with Ethan... maybe the novelty has worn off. My update is that August will pee on cue pretty much every time that I ask him to. He doesn't like the baby potties though. He will wait until I can put him on my knees and cue him to pee into the toilet or shower or the drainage ditch behind the church... August sweats a lot, which means that he pees less frequently than he did in the spring. He still pees a healthy amount, but it's much easier to catch them when it's only every hour or so instead of every twenty minutes or half hour. Pooping has been trickier since he doesn't like the baby potty. Not sure what to do about that.

Great little boys.

Overwhelmed by the Gross

2011-08-23T11:12:00.000-07:00

This morning I found myself reflecting on how much grossness I deal with on a daily basis. Part of it is a normal, mom, amount of gross. For example, every mom wipes poop off her baby's butt. And moms who choose to use and wash cloth diapers have an extra dose of gross. But Mexico adds a special twist to the gross. My washing machine and diaper pail are both outside. I opened the diaper pail this morning, planning to wash diapers and discovered about 250 fruit flies hanging out inside. Awesome.

At least there weren't any maggots. Yesterday I found maggots on the sponge I used to wash the feeding center dishes Saturday morning. I guess I didn't think to thoroughly clean out the sponge. Ug.

Gross appears in so many forms here. Now that we're in the rainy season, the relative humidity hovers between 80-90%. Mold and fungus thrive. In the past week, I've found some form of spore life in all kinds of interesting places: my clothes pins, a kitchen chair, a bathroom shelf, a container of yogurt (not that old!) in the fridge, the lime tree. I'm just waiting for it to start growing on me. Oh wait, did I mention that August and I have been battling thrush off and on pretty much his entire life!?!?

The flies are gross. In a frenzied 3 minute fly-swatter fury, I killed and collected the remains of 10 flies in our kitchen, leaving another half dozen buzzing out of reach. Mosquitoes are gross. They cause Dengue. August has bites on his forehead. Ethan scratched 3 of his bites into massive, oozing sores. Little boys are kind of gross sometimes, too.

Other random grossness I've encountered recently: little boys who frequently forget to flush the toilet, little boys covered in mud, mud caked flip flops, mud, cat poop stench from where the neighborhood cats decided the worker's tool shed in front of our house makes a great bathroom, wet mouse poop, kids with Typhoid fever, towels that smell like old-man B.O., old men that smell like old man B.O., swamp smell from festering puddles that never dry up, one of the guys working on our house whistling at our 17 year old neighbor... gross has many forms.

Seriously, before I moved to Mexico, if I heard anyone mention the smell of a dead animal, I thought of burgers grilling.

Some days I am simply overwhelmed by the sheer volume of grossness. But, to put a positive spin on things, I know how to clean. I flush unflushed toilets. I soaked the maggot sponge in bleach. I cleaned up wet mouse poop. I washed the dirty diapers and stinky towels. I threw away the yogurt. I put the clothes pins out in the sun. Wow. I actually feel empowered reading over that list!

There is a life lesson hidden in the gross somewhere. If I don't wash the dishes right away, dirty dishes attract a mountain of flies. If fly covered dishes sit for a few days, eventually they become maggot covered dishes, which is far, far worse. (Thank God that has never happened to me.) But, all it takes is a cleaning. When I wash those dirty dishes, the flies don't have anything attracting them, and so they go somewhere else.

What parts of our lives are dirty? What parts smell bad? Maybe it's not something obvious. But when God gets into those dark corners, exposes the wet mouse poop, and empowers us to clean up, everything changes for the better.

So fun!

2011-08-19T21:34:00.000-07:00

I had a great night tonight!
We are officially over half way done with this crazy 28 day marathon. 15 down, 13 to go.

The evening started with a bang, when I made friends with the sweetest donkey EVER. How often does a donkey wonder up to your church and ask you to rub her nose?? Mazatlan has its perks.

Tonight we had an all worship night. Lots of songs and praying. The band we booked from a more established church backed out at the last minute, meaning we scrambled to fill our band with our own local amateurs.

And guess what?
I play the bass now! I picked up the first bass guitar I've ever tried to play in my life on Wednesday and was totally shocked to find out it's not hard at all. I mean, I'm not saying I'm super, but definitely proficient. It's really fun! Wow. If I would have known it's that easy to play bass, I would have joined a band in high school.

Fear of callouses has always kept me away from stringed instruments, but actually, I don't think that's going to be too much of an issue. I can't get crazy long nails at the salon, but let's be honest. I'm a Mexico missionary mother of two... fake nails will probably never be a must have for me.

The BEST part was the Holy Spirit power. Whew! Our building was rockin tonight! I LOVE it when that happens. Feels so good. Totally great night.

7 Months

2011-08-16T15:13:00.000-07:00

A week late, but August is crawling through the 2nd half of his first year. He's totally mobile. I have to make sure the front door, bathroom door, and backdoor are all latched, because twice in the past week, he snuck outside on his own. I also have to make sure he can't find anything dangerous on the floor.

Still no teeth, but I can see the bumps on his bottom gums... any day now. Poor little fella!

His favorite things:
-Mommy
-Eating anything (so far he's happily eaten anything and everything anyone gives to him! yikes!)
-Cups
-Dancing
-Standing up
-Water and bathing

Not so favorite:
-Getting passed around, back and forth by 15 different 11 year-olds all the time
-Going to sleep
-Too much Ethan love (read- getting smashed or stepped on)

August is fun. He's super fun. Showing lots more personality these days. He shrieks when excited. He's constantly on the move. He loves to eat. Still delightfully tubby and snugly.

He usually sleeps through the night well. About 2 out of 3 nights he wakes up around 6am to eat, but most of the time goes back to sleep for a while after that. He takes 2-4 naps. Always a morning nap and always an afternoon nap, but sometimes he'll wake up in the middle of his afternoon nap for half an hour and then go back to sleep again. He occasionally takes an evening nap, too. Usually about an hour each, although sometimes he goes longer. The best days are when he and Ethan nap together. This past week their nap rhythm has been off.

Best Purse Ever

2011-08-11T16:06:00.000-07:00

My younger sisters and I occasionally receive some of my older sister's hand-me-downs. I might add that my older sister, who is far trendier than I am, has a larger clothing budget than the rest of us combined. Anyway, she passed a unwanted purse along to my mom, who tried it out, but decided it was too small. I happened to be in the right place at the right time and happily benefited.

At first, I was a little embarrassed... I mean, it seems a little out of character for a missionary to walk around with an expensive, designer handbag. But now, a year or so later, I LOVE this purse! It's amazing.

I've had it for a year, carried it all over Mexico, with babies, and it still looks fantastic. My usual $15 knock-offs have usually disintegrated by this time. But this purse still looks... mostly clean! It doesn't have a single stray seam. It's solid. Wow. I have to say, this purse might actually be worth what it costs, because it is quality!

I do find it somewhat ironic that most of the people who can afford a purse this nice wouldn't be caught dead with last season's purse, when these things are built to withstand a nuclear invasion.

All this to say... for people on a budget, a used Coach purse might be a worthwhile buy.

Tonight, Tonight

2011-08-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

6 nights down,
22 to go!

I can't believe how much fun we're having!
Cool things from tonight:
Liliana's hurting feet were healed.
Keren's sore throat was healed.
Irene had intense stomach pain, which felt better during prayer.
Teresa's had a dream last night that her heart pain was healed, and we had a word about heart pain tonight!

We're having a blast.

28 Days

2011-08-05T21:17:00.001-07:00

Whew!

1 night down, 27 to go.

Tonight was great! We had over 50 people there, about half of them kids? I'm not sure exactly.

Good times.

Weekend Update

2011-08-01T20:21:00.000-07:00

Saturday
What: VBS
Where: Golden Zone Vineyard
When: 9-3
At 8 am, I loaded up all our kids for some VBS madness. You may recall that I wasn't very excited about going. I'm not proud of this, but we had a new record... 30 people inside our 7 passenger minivan. I know it's not safe. I'm not saying it was a good idea. I gave into peer pressure when all the kids wanted to stay together and not go in taxis. Kyle probably wouldn't have done it, but he took the bus in at 7am to help set up tables.

The Golden Zone church caught on fire about a week ago. For those of you who have been to Mexico and have a bad opinion of dangerous Mexican wiring, sometimes, it does go up in flame. Even better, there was no fire extinguisher on the premises. No alarm. No sprinkler system. Whew. At least no one was injured. Anyway, the electrician got most of it taken care of, but no a/c for 150 people in the big room under the aluminum roof. At least it was cloudy!

VBS went really, really well. I have never been so proud of my Choniteños, as they like to call themselves. The teens took care of everything, and I spent most of the day in an air conditioned classroom with other moms.

Highlight: Ethan and his best friend Elias really getting into the superhero theme.

What: Saturday night discipleship classes
Where: Our church (Doña Chonita)
When: 7-9

Great night! 14 adults. 14 teens. 15 kids. A new record! Esther is doing so well as the kids teacher, making my life SO much better! Afterward, I taught the kids how to catch fireflies. (They are rare in Mexico, and very small.)

Highlight: Backpack give away. More on that another time

Sunday
What: English service
Where: Golden Zone
When: 8-10am

Still no a/c. Krishna gave a great sermon. Kyle lead worship.

What: Sunday service
Where: Madero church
When: 11-1

Kyle preached. Our kids were great.

Highlight: Praying for people after the service.

What: Sunday service
Where: Villa Union church
When: 5-7pm

Kyle preached. This was our last week in Villa Union, where we've been going once a month for almost 4 years. A little sad, but we're happy to be closing that chapter.

It was a great weekend! Other than the fact that Sunday night Kyle found a scorpion in our backyard!! At least he killed it before the eggs hatched!! Yikes!

Here's where we were:

View Mazatlan Vineyards in a larger map

Ellen and Paul head to head going down the backstretch

2011-08-01T09:50:00.000-07:00

A great friend of mine emailed me a fantastic reply to my previous, somewhat negative post. I thought it was absolutely fitting and wanted to share it, although the author prefers her anonymity. -Ellen

Great post Ellen...

I don't think people appreciate what you go through at all, and I'm not happy about that. I'm chartering a plane to Mazatlan next week. We are all going to sleep on your roof!

Just happened to be reading about Paul this morning in II Cor. 11. What a nut. What a complainer. Crazy old kook. That crazy apostle had the audacity to actually write: "I repeat... Let no one take me for a fool. Nay, go ahead. Call me a fool. That's what I am. A crazy old fool for what I do and where I go."

Now, Ellen hates those crazy Mazatlan bugs and mice and blech ... what else would you expect. Well, Paul didn't write about spiders so we don't know. But that nutty apostle was five times beaten with 40 lashes. Yeah, he went on and on about it. Three times he was beaten with rods. Man up, buddy. What's an infected back with scars among friends. A little pus never hurt anyone.

Yeah, but a sick cat in a bed. For 6 hours. In a house where it's 150 degrees. No fans. Well it was not 150 degrees in the north Mediterranean Sea when Paul was shipwrecked 3 times but every things got ruined. One night and an entire day mind you Paul floated around on a plank in the open sea. Well, at least you could swim, Paul. What about those poor sailors that couldn't? The ship wreck didn't do them no good (may they RIP).

Please don't bring Paul into this. Well, why not. What's he know about having needy little kids in 150 degree weather? Come on. The man never married. Besides, try and imagine having no air conditioner in Mazatlan in July. No fan. Hardly any food in the house. 2 crying boys. Crying, exhausted boys. And banging and dust, banging and dust, banging and dust, banging and dust.

"Don't talk with me about dust. I walk in 2 feet of dust heading to Corinth. On top of 2 feet of snow, and it's up hill all the way." There goes that old kook again. That crazy Paul is always trying to one up Ellen. Ad nausaeum ... He says he is in danger in the cities, in the country, at sea... He has gone without food, without sleep. He been cold and naked. (Whiner!! He should move to Mazatlan where he won't need clothes in July. Geesh, Paul. Keep your clothes off and take a walk along the malacon! Now there's a strategy for evangelism! I dare you, Paul. Come one down. It would do you some good.)

Oh, yes, there's also the constant pressure of being a missionary. Oh yeah, Paul. We know. We know. Go ahead and play the God card. You have all this pressures. I bet you have a headache. Well guess what, buddy. They got aspirin in Mexico. Lots of it. So do us a favor, Paul. Do me a favor and hold August and keep Ethan entertained while Ellen rummages through the dust and looks for the aspirin.

The second floor on our house isn't finished but you can sleep on the roof tonight. It's cooler up there. Not!

Well, at least you can sleep in the buff. But keep your privates covered. Dang Mazatlan misquitoes are no respecter of, well, anything.

Oh my, all this boasting that insists on showing our weakness...

When it Rains...

2011-07-27T23:26:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 4am with a splitting headache. Totally unusual for me.

I occasionally get headaches, but if I drink something, eat something, and make a concerted effort to relax and lower my stress levels, they almost always go away. Not today. I wasn't stressed, I was asleep! I've been fighting a bug. I spent the majority of Sunday and Monday in bed moaning with a low-grade fever. At least Monday was my day off. So this must be related.

I got up later, and popped some Tylenol for my full day.

Since we're waiting on the church construction until a builder team comes in November, and apparently because we are gluttons for punishment, this week Kyle and I started building our second story. Re-phrase- strong, builder guys started building our second story. So far it's been a demolition gig as they take out unnecessary brick trim around the roof. Our house is completely full of dust and debris (more than usual). The intense hammering resonates through the whole house rattling the windows. It was so intense yesterday, that a ceiling light fixture fell and shattered in our bedroom.

yeah... so when do we get to the vermin???

Okay, on Saturday we will spend all day in the Golden Zone doing VBS- the hottest, most chaotic day of my year. I've been dreading it since last July. I knew I was getting sick last Saturday night when I spent the whole night tossing, turning, and dreaming about VBS. We have to prepare by doing a dramatic dance production that includes all of the kids who are coming with us. Without advertising at all (because I secretly hoped everyone would just forget about it), we are taking some 30 people into the big VBS. There are a lot of kids to organize.

Anyway, I thought my headache might get better if I got away from all the pounding, so I packed up the boys and walked over to the church. Even though I was listening to loud music and kids screaming, through the amazing power of Tylenol, my headache did go away. I actually enjoyed chatting with the other moms while I let the teens handle teaching kids to dance.

Since we're feeling the crunch- VBS, backpacks, getting rid of clothes donations- all in the next 2 weeks before our giant month long campaign starts a week from Friday, the moms and I decided to go ahead and start sorting through some donations. I innocently picked up a giant trashbag full of used clothes, when the biggest one of these giant spiders ran straight for my leg (at least that's what I thought when I started screaming like a maniac).

I'm not afraid of spiders. Apparently these are harmless and fairly common. They hide well, because I've seen far more dead ones than live ones, thankfully. But they move like some other-worldly, giant monster climbing a skyscraper! So fast!!! I wish I had a video of how they move, but I was way too busy screaming to think of that.

The next bag I moved (with all the zippers open, of course), had a scorpion hiding behind it! I screamed again, although far less, because the scorpion was just chillin. We also found 2 more of the giant spiders.

Back home, the power was out because the city was repairing some wires. I didn't go grocery shopping this week b/c I knew the power would be out and didn't want to buy anything that would spoil, so Kyle brought home some Chinese from his errands. After lunch, the kids passed out, totally pooped from our exciting morning. I tried to sleep, but with the pounding and close to 100 degree temperatures in the house, without even a fan, I failed.

Kyle and I had both planned on working on some projects that required a computer and internet in the afternoon, but the power was still out, so we gave up and went shopping for backpack supplies with the money recently raised by the VBS from our home church (Thanks, guys!!). Right before we left, I sprayed for mosquitoes, since they carry Dengue Fever, which kills Mazatlan children every summer. They have been CRAZY this week, which I blame on the rain and the doors being open all the time so the construction guys can walk through. When I sprayed the boys' room, 6 mosquitoes flew up from Ethan's bed! ARGGGH!

We drove to our amazing dollar store, where we got some great school supply deals last year. We pulled into the parking lot only to realize the store had burned down!?!?! WHAT? It burned down 2 weeks ago- a massive fire involving the entire firefighting force of Mazatlan, and we didn't even hear about it! Anyway, we bought lots of great stuff and found great deals at a different place.

Then we went to our Wednesday night class in the Golden Zone. My headache was back with a pounding vengeance, and the only medicine in the car was a packet of Advil that expired in 2004. Since I'm still nursing, I try to stick to Tylenol, so I didn't take it. It was really hot. I was really cranky. Enough about that.

When we got home, a little before 10! we were thrilled to find that the power was on, thankfully. We were not so thrilled to find a cat on our bed. Joe usually spends most of his time on our roof or in the backyard, but since those are the main construction zones right now, he had snuck in the open doors and under our bed, where he had been for the past... what 6 hours????! GROSSS! I know some people are all about their animals in their beds, but Joe is nasty. He has some disgusting skin disease right now. I took him to the vet, but it hasn't helped. Blech. Yeah, so change the sheets.

Got that taken care of, only to find... A MOUSE!!!!! Are you kidding me!?!?! Can this day have any more vermin??? I guess it's missing the roaches??? Apparently, he had been living in our shed, which Kyle and the guys moved yesterday for the construction. Again... he came in through the open doors. I didn't feed our disgusting cat tonight. I actually contemplated getting him put down. Seriously, he was trapped in the house for 6 hours and DIDN'T KILL THE MOUSE?!?!

Kyle almost got the mouse, but he went behind the stove. At least we have some traps.

There were so many unwanted guests in my life today, I just had to share with the world. Plus, it's been a while since I had a really long post...

Mexican Slurs

2011-07-26T18:05:00.000-07:00

Mexican nicknames can be embarrassingly descriptive. When meeting a random child in the States, one might refer to the child as Buddy, Pal, Sweetie etc. Here, strangers give my kids names, too.

Say hello to Whitey and Fatty.

The funniest part is that they aren't derogatory at all!

Videos

2011-07-25T15:33:00.000-07:00

Ethan's copy of a classic children's book is in Spanish. Can you guess what book?

answer

August can move!

Don't flush me.

2011-07-23T15:19:00.000-07:00

Ethan this morning when I flushed the toilet before he stood up...

Mommy! You almost flushed me! I thought I was going to get sucked down and down through that little hole, but my big head won't fit in that little hole.

You shouldn't put feet in the toilet, because that would be very bad.

August is sick

2011-07-21T21:38:00.001-07:00

My baby has a fever. Poor little guy. He's miserable. Blech.

Ethan's sayings

2011-07-18T13:20:00.000-07:00

Today at nap time (after laying in bed for 40 minutes without going to sleep).
"Mommy! My foot hurts!"
"What's wrong?"
"It has spiders inside it!"
Pretty good description of a limb going to sleep I think!

He uses the word "might" all the time.
"Mommy, I might want some candy."
"I might want some cold water."
"After my nap, I might want to play with my friends."

He loves to narrate everything that happens. At breakfast:
"Mommy, can I watch my Tow-Mater movie?"
Me: "That's fine."
Ethan (to Daddy who is standing 3 feet away): "Daddy, I asked my mommy if I could watch my Tow-Mater movie, and she said that's fine."

He remembers startling details. I told him a story at bedtime about a month ago that I thought was pretty good. I even had the thought- I should write that down and remember it to tell it again. I totally forgot. In fact, I tried to remember, because I remembered liking it, but I couldn't! Last night, he asked for the story. At first, I had no idea what he was talking about, but he pulled enough details out for me to remember! Amazing!

Mr. Social loves to plays with other kids. Yesterday I did a few visits, and Ethan had a great time hanging out with another little boy that he had never played with before. Then today, he played with our neighbor's grandson for an hour, without fighting over a toy, pushing, hitting- absolutely perfect!

That's not to say that he always behaves. We make good use of the time out chair... :)

Last Night

2011-07-17T13:25:00.000-07:00

Our youth group has gone from 1 girl, to 3 girls, to an actual group of teens in the past couple months.

The best part is... I feel like we are doing the same stuff. We haven't changed. We don't have some amazing new strategy. It just God's grace. That and some persistence. And having an actual building helps a lot!

Those initial 3 girls formed the base of the growing group. They started the whole deal. They brought all their friends. Their friends brought friends. They've been under a lot of stress. Two of them got in a fight. The other one got a new job that keeps her away. It's hard on them. I've been wanting to get more involved, but have been somewhat hampered by kids- mine and other people's.

Anyway, last night, I decided to leave the kids and teach the youth. I prayed about the group before hand, and felt like I needed to teach on respecting parents. I also wrote down two specific prayer needs that I felt like people might have.

We started by playing a silly name game that surprisingly went over really well. It was fun and EVERYONE participated, which is a miracle in itself. Then I spent less than 10 minutes teaching and asking questions about Ephesians 6:1-4. Kids respect your parents. Why? Because if you do, God promises to bless you with long life. Dads don't drive your kids crazy.

Then I pulled out the first prayer need... I think someone here might be really angry at their parents. I want us to pray about that and you to forgive them.
Three kids shyly slunk into the middle. The rest of us gathered around and waited for the Holy Spirit. A couple other kids shared impressions they got. We prayed for them. It felt good and tingly.

Then I pulled out the second prayer need... I think someone here tonight really longs for peace in their house. They don't feel peace at home, and they want it.
8 or 9 kids went into the middle, feeling bolder when no one from the first group was immediately ostracized, plus it was getting dark. The rest of us prayed for them.

Finally we prayed for a couple kids with colds.

After everything was over, a new girl came up to me. "Ellen, why did you say that?" she asked me.
"Say what?"
"Talk about who was mad at their parents?"
"I just felt like that's what God was saying tonight."
"Well... I'm really mad at my mom..."
We talked for a while, and I prayed for her.

One boy, whose story is long and sad, actually sat still enough to listen. He went from being totally disruptive and rude to asking for prayer. He dropped his guard long enough for me to see the hurting little boy inside the obnoxious exterior longing for parents to love him. I plan to follow up with him some more.

Anyway... It's just exciting to see the youth group grow (I think we had 23 last night.) And exciting to see kids actually care about each other and want to know more about what God has for them. I love seeing God meet people where they are in the needs that they bring.

Unfortunately, Kyle's night wasn't as good. He had 9 adults, which is decent considering that everyone under 25 was out with me. But he also had all the little kids inside the building with him. Ethan and his buddy Elias need a lot of structured play time. Free play turns crazy really fast. Another mom was sort of watching all the little kids, but it was really loud.

Esther and Antonia

I'm so looking forward to Esther taking over the kids from me on Saturday nights starting next week- whoo hoo! Prayer answered! (I hope)

I'm also really looking forward to possibly getting some classrooms built in November so the kids will have their own space to be loud. If you are interested in being involved... come help build our building! Or pray for Esther with the kids. And pray for our 3 stressed out teen leaders- Adelaida, Teresa, and Jenny.

I gotta feelin...

2011-07-16T20:27:00.001-07:00

Tonight WAS a good night! Wow. What a high. Tonight was why I'm in ministry. More details another time.

Handsome Boys

2011-07-15T09:17:00.000-07:00

Boundaries

2011-07-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

Life, motherhood, ministry... I have to my decisions in these areas everyday, and I'm constantly second guessing myself. Balance is hard to figure out.

I feel like we've made pretty significant (hopefully healthy) boundaries in our lives. There are plenty of ministry opportunities that we've said no to. We catch a lot of flack for that from time to time. Mission work is so nebulous. It can be whatever I make it. I often say that ministry will take whatever a person gives it. There are always more and more ways to serve. It's easy to feel guilty for saying no, but God doesn't make us feel guilty. The Holy Spirit brings specific conviction when we are ready for it and need it, but just general guilt is not from God.

I've seen friends and colleagues give ministry so much that there isn't much of them left over. I'm not sure how to help.

14 hours

2011-07-09T20:45:00.000-07:00

Whew. I used to be able to do a 14 hour work day. At the end of the day, I would just be tired. Now with kids, I feel like I'm going crazy! To be fair, I did have a couple hours of not doing church stuff this afternoon, but today was a very, very long day.

I'm pumped because we had the best feeding center EVER today! I'm so excited about the changes we've been able to make with walls. Wow. More on that later (including pictures).

But tonight Ethan and his partner in crime, Elias, had me pulling out my hair while trying to care for all the other kids. boooo.

Then we got home, and the power was out. It's 80 degrees outside and 95% humidity, without even a fan. I love electricity. I'm so thankful for electricity. I would be a weeny without it. THANKFULLY, just when we were pulling out all the blankets to try to sleep on the floor in front of the door to get a little breeze, it came back on. GRACIAS A DIOS!

Boys

2011-07-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

August

Mr. August will be 6 months old on Friday. Although I'm still a little bit impatient to be out of the baby phase, he is a really fantastic baby. He's so deliciously chubby. I'm in the process of switching him to all 12 months clothes. Hilariously, his arms are too beefy for the 9 months sleeves! Otherwise, his 9 month clothes aren't too tight. He's fun to snuggle. He gives lots of smiles and laughs.

No teeth yet, but lots of drool. Not crawling yet, obviously still early, but Ethan could crawl by this age. Interesting to see how different August and Ethan are. I'm different, too. I haven't been putting August on the ground as much as Ethan. And I let Ethan sleep on his tummy more than August does. August can roll both directions now. He can get into a crawl-like scooting position from sitting, which means he's no longer safe alone on the bed or the couch.

He plots. Yesterday, his buddy, Mateo, had one of his toys, and he wiggled and angled himself to where he could reach the toy and grabbed it away! He loves to play with toys.

His favorite, favorite, favorite thing is eating. He LOVES baby food. I waited until just a week and a half ago to start, and he ate the entire container of green beans at the first sitting! The next day he cried when the container was gone. So far I've just given him green beans, carrots, and peas. (Ethan hated peas.) He's eaten every single bite I've offered! Now that those have gone well, I'll probably start expanding his diet to things that I make, as opposed to things Gerber makes.

He definitely goes to the bathroom when cued, usually. Sometimes he even waits for me. But life is busy, and plenty of times I'm just not there quick enough this time around. I don't feel too bad, since I use cloth diapers at home.

Ethan

Ethan loves his brother. He is very, very protective. He often asks for August to take a nap with him, and probably once or twice a week it works out that they actually help each other fall asleep at nap time cuddled together in Ethan's bed. Ethan often keeps August entertained when I'm busy with something.

Ethan loves to work puzzles and read books. He still can't quite make it from C- says "kuh", A- says "ah", T says "tuh" to C-A-T says cat. But we're not far now. He loves to play with his friends. He speaks Spanish with no trouble, although he makes common kid grammar mistakes in both languages. He sings a lot. He's very afraid of thunder.

A little while before we left for our US trip, Ethan had really been aggravating me. My patience for his antics and wildness was low. My fuse was short. Two things have changed that pretty dramatically. First, shaving Ethan's head made me view him differently. He would do his usual obnoxious three year old thing, and when I turned around to scold him, instead of seeing my antagonist, I was startled to discover a tiny child, recently rescued from a Nazi concentration camp, in need of motherly love and comfort. Or maybe a very sickly child taking radiation treatment. Honestly, I'm amazed how much of a difference Ethan's hair makes to my psyche!

The 2nd, and more important revelation involved old home videos. My family never had a camcorder, so we only have about 3 hours of footage taken by various friends between 1989-1997, and that's it! Anyway, on our trip back home, Kyle digitized those old home videos. All the things Ethan does that bother me, come from from ME! The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. The oldest child need for attention, devotion to the younger sibling while at the same time trying to steal the spotlight, crazy energy... it's all too familiar.

I have some more thoughts about this- who I was as a kid and how other people related to me... But I'm not sure how much is accurate and less sure how that relates to Ethan. In the mean time, I do know that I've had some more patience for Mr. Sweetie-Pie Pants, Ethan.

I lied.

2011-06-30T17:35:00.001-07:00

Today I'm hot, and I wish it would rain.

That is all.

Sweat, Baby, Sweat

2011-06-29T14:30:00.000-07:00

His Royal Heftiness, August, needs a rinse off shower twice a day lately. He sweats a lot!

I am always relieved to be back in Mexico. I really enjoyed our trip. But this is my home. Believe it or not, for the first summer out of my past 6 in Mexico, I am LOVING the heat.

It's easy to forget in our meticulously climed western world what our bodies are capable of. Our bodies have been expertly designed to handle high temperatures. For millennium, across the globe, human beings have thrived in tropical climates. Sweating reminds me that I'm alive. It reminds me that my body knows what it's doing.

Before I go Amazon and start preaching about the amazing world of body odors... I would like to point out my hypocrisy and conditions. I avoid the sun at all costs and sleep in a/c. Whatever. I just happy not to be cold.

If I said I didn't cry... I'd be LION.

2011-06-23T14:42:00.000-07:00

On our way out of town, we spent a few hours at the Brookfield Zoo with Kyle's siblings. I had an experience that touched my soul. I felt like this guy.

We got to the zoo, only a couple hours before closing time, so we were in speed mode. I didn't expect much more than the usual, look at the sleeping animals, deal. We started in big cats. No tiger available, so we walked to the lion enclosure. To my surprise, the adult male lion was awake. He sitting, with his head held high at the very back. No other people were around. I got to the display window first. When I glanced through the glass, the lion turned his head and looked at me. Then he stood up.

"He almost looks skinny," I quipped as he ambled our direction. I figured that he must be heading toward lunch in a zoo cave out of my line of vision. But instead, eyes locked on me, he continued forward. This lion walked straight up to me, from 50 feet away, and put his nose on the glass in front of my face. He was HUGE! I took back the skinny comment. His giant paws could have swallowed both my feet. Standing up, he towered over me, taller than a horse! He looked right into my soul. I kid you not. While the more rational side of me tried to remind myself that he was just an animal and this some freak coincidence, my feeling side was trembling in reverence, "Aslan, I love you!"

Honestly, I felt a little bit goofy at my reaction to it all. (What does it meeeean? ha ha) But on the other hand, its not everyday that a lion yawns in your face! And it touched something deep inside me. Something that reminds me that we are not alone. That I am infinitesimally small, but yet significant. Wow. After a stressful morning of packing and errands on a night of too little sleep, I felt like I could dance with starlight.

Great day at the zoo. Here are some pictures.

I know the quality of this picture is terrible, but he was turning away before I thought to turn on the camera! It shows my hand on the glass next to his head, if you squint carefully.

A little better. He had to show off for his other fans, too.

The window.

Later.

Good way to ride.

Dolphin show.

Tyra says, more neck!

Kyle can show neck, too.

Mom, next time take off the burp rag...

I'll spare you the picture of the left monkey picking at the right monkey's backside.

Don't step on the peacock.

I think there is a monkey in there somewhere.

"Leave me the eff alone. I don't want to talk about it."

Grizzly.

Happy baby likes the zoo!

If lost, please call. (Our solution after the Taste of Champaign incident.)

Lost Boy

2011-06-17T21:31:00.000-07:00

Tonight we went to the Taste of Champaign. It was almost time to go, and I still had 6 tickets left, so I left Kyle in line at the Historical Society old car getting peanuts to go get a little bbq sandwich. The bubble machine propped on top of the car/booth enchanted Ethan. He happily chased bouncing bubbles across the grass.

"Ethan is right here in the bubbles," I told Kyle as I walked away.
Kyle was talking to my aunt and uncle and didn't really hear me.

When I returned 5 to 10 minutes later, I didn't see Ethan. I handed Kyle the baby lazily and glanced down the field where the wind was blowing the bubbles. "Where's Ethan?"
Kyle was talking to my parents and didn't respond.
"Kyle, where's Ethan?"
"What do you mean? He's with you, right?"

Another 5-10 frantic minutes later, we found Ethan riding on a policeman's shoulders. To my relief and humiliation, the entire force of ToC cops knew Ethan's name. "I know he's 3, but it's still a really good idea to teach kids their parents' cell phone number," the officer kindly advised.
Okay, Ethan, when you are in the US, you need to call 011-52-1-669-123-6961, but when you are in Mexico you call 044-669-123-6961. Maybe I should just get him an "if lost, please call..." tattoo.

The cell phone thing is a good idea, though. I've been working on our address with Ethan lately, but the cell phone makes more sense.

Ethan was happy to see us, but not upset.

I'm sure if this is the worst "lost child" experience we have, we'll make it through okay. But it was still very unpleasant. I'm so glad he was okay.

Happy Anniversary

2011-06-11T09:42:00.000-07:00

7 years (and 2 boys) later, getting married to Kyle has still been one of the best decisions of my life.

Kyle and brothers

2011-06-08T20:31:00.000-07:00

Kyle's been digitizing some old home videos. Thank goodness that who we are at 13 doesn't define us. I'm not sure anything embarrasses me more than seeing video of 13 year old me. YIKES!

Ellen's Axioms

2011-06-02T15:12:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about the truths I assume to be true. Or maybe better phrased, the rules I use to guide my life.
You don't have to believe them.
You don't have to use them.
You don't have to agree with them.
You probably have a different set of truths, which I would love to read if you are a blogger.
But for the sake of posterity, I thought I'd share.

Facebook friends should always outnumber Facebook pictures of myself. Current ratio: 812 friends : 440 pictures (1:1.85)

People in our house, should always outnumber pets. Current ratio: 4 people: 2 disgusting cats. I might change this rule if we ever move to a farm. Or get a fish tank. (Not planning to do either of those)

30 year olds should be the primary care giver of an infant or young child at least once a month. Teens are supposed to be selfish. Even the early twenties are all about pursuing our personal dreams. But, somewhere in the late twenties, early thirties, to my mind, it becomes unhealthy to be totally focused on my own personal interests. My kids force me to not be so selfish, and put someone else before me.

Never go to bed angry.

If I'm mad at Kyle, it's probably because I don't feel very loved, not because he never puts away his coffee cup. Kyle and I both do lots of annoying things to each other. Usually, if my "love tank", to quote The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts , is full, nothing Kyle does bothers me. I try to think, "wait, it didn't bother me yesterday that Kyle set a big pile of crap on the table, why does it bother me today?" The issue is not the issue.

Wait until we remember that we like each other before we discuss a hot button issue. This makes fighting much easier. Of course, I have the best husband in the world, so my approaches may not work on other husbands. ha ha.

Be intimate with my husband regularly (at least once a week.)

The more I give, the more blessing. We try to be financially generous, generous with our time and energy.

Don't buy things I can't afford. I love our budget. It's super complicated and requires about 1 afternoon a month of upkeep. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. It provides me with peace of mind and freedom.

Avoid debt. We've had some really amazing situations in our lives that have kept us totally debt free as a couple the entire time that we've been married. The more I give... Be that as it may, we also don't own any credit cards.

Don't be weird. Actually, this has been a major theme of my life since elementary school- something I often fail at! ha ha. But, I try to be conscious of Christianese, how people are responding to me, etc. I probably need to get rid of this frame of thought. hmmm. Something to think about.

Don't punish in anger. Another one I'm not always good at. Anger makes the fact that although I told him not to walk in the kitchen, Ethan just ran through my dirt pile, seem much worse.

When in doubt, ask God. Ethan doesn't want to take a nap. Do I force it? He didn't do what I told him to do. How big of a deal to I make it? I like to take 30 seconds and ask the Holy Spirit how to respond. I've found him to be surprisingly merciful

Actually listen. I make an effort to listen to everything that anyone is saying to me, from sermons to repetitive children.

Be honest. Did you like the shrimp ceviche, Ellen? Wow, that's really full of raw shrimp, isn't it?

Prayer is really important.

Reading the Bible is really important.

I can always make time for the important things.

Be hungry. I think it's healthy to remember what that feels like on a regular basis.

If I'm going to splurge on food, do it in the morning or afternoon, not at night. All about the metabolism.

Try to only have 250 calories of junk (usually chocolate) a day.

Eat more vegetables and sustainable protein than starch.

Natural is better.

Clean the house at least once a week.

Sometimes I need time alone.

Make time for each of my boys when they, individually, are my only focus.

Be reliable. Don't promise anything I can't (or don't want to) deliver. I try not to say- hey, let's get together sometime, unless I really mean it and plan it.

Yeah... I think those are the most important ones.

Your turn! Blog it. What are your rules to live by?

Whose Hats Have You Been WEARING!?

2011-05-31T21:12:00.000-07:00

Sunday, in an effort to fight the fungus attacking Ethan's head, I cut his hair shorter than it has ever been. I used a 2 on our clippers. I usually use a 5 and 6. I also washed everything with any kind of fabric in his room.

Today, while hanging up laundry, I was startled to find the body of something that looked to me suspiciously louse-like. I panicked a little bit. I did some online research. It definitely looked like a louse. But where did it come from? I mean, honestly, I'm surprised we've avoided lice infestations so far, living where we live. Everyone gets lice here! But I haven't gotten them. And I certainly don't want to go back to the US on Friday worried about lice.

Kyle and Ethan came home for lunch and literally, while I was telling Kyle about my finding, I saw something move at the base of Ethan's neck.With my maternal lightning reflexes, I captured a very much alive, big, wriggling louse. Crap. He's already got a scalpel fungal infection, now lice? WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON ON ETHAN's HEAD!!!!????? I swear that we wash his hair.

Kyle carried Ethan outside and cuddled him while I began the search. Thank goodness I cut his hair Sunday (at which time I didn't see anything lice-like.) I found a dozen or so eggs (not good, but could be much worse). Then Ethan got squirmy, and Kyle took him back inside. An hour or so later, I decided to attack again. When I pulled the 6th LIVE bug off my squirming three year old, I had had enough. So had Ethan.

Solution:

He actually kind of likes it. I like rubbing his head. We may look back later and laugh at all the pictures his grandparents take this trip. I'm happy to report that as of this evening, Ethan is totally lice free. Also, with his head shaved, I can put topical cream on his tiny patch of ringworm, and it looks a lot better.

I stripped everything, and rewashed all the sheets, pillows, stuffed animals, towels, etc. Keep in mind that we don't own a drier.

When the whole ordeal was over, Ethan laid down for his nap. He asked me to lay August next to him, who happened to be a little bit cranky. I decided to let Ethan entertain August while "napping" so that I could work on the newly made massive piles of laundry. When I came back inside 15 minutes later, I found this.

Pretty stinkin sweet boys if I do say so myself. No signs of lice on August, Kyle or me. Thank you, Jesus!

update

2011-05-30T21:19:00.000-07:00

So I feel like this blog has been a little bit like Debbie Downer lately.
In case you didn't catch the reference, here's a very funny video.

Today, things are going better. No fleas or ants today. August got 2 vaccines. Kyle got to experience projectile vomit while August and I were gone when he tried to give Ethan his medicine this morning. After 2 useless stops at 2 different pharmacies, I did a little online research and figured out that the doctor prescribed Ethan a dose 8x stronger than he should be taking. Sheez Louise!!

So that may explain part of his reaction. Apparently this drug can also cause liver damage. Mexican medical stuff is so hit or miss! Seriously, I could do the doctor's job half the time. We didn't take Ethan through the socialized system this time. Most of the pharmacies have a doctor on staff to prescribe whatever drug you need. You get what you pay for I guess, since the doctor's visit costs about $2.50.

But I'm doing much better today. Today was our day off, and I actually got to take a nap! Ahh! It was wonderful. Kyle washed the dishes tonight. It was a good day. We watched Finding Nemo with Ethan, and he hated it! He asked me to turn it off multiple times and when it was over said he never wanted to see it again. Such a funny reaction! He normally loves Pixar.

We leave for the US on Friday. We have a lot to do between now and then, but I'm super excited about our trip.

I'm a wreck

2011-05-28T22:00:00.000-07:00

The funeral today was so sad. Mia screamed when they closed the casket. Blech. It looks like the kids are going to live with their grandma.

Ethan has tinea capitis, or ringworm of the head. That sucks. He has to take a ton of nasty medicine 4 times a day. We did our first dose tonight, and he almost puked twice. He screamed. It was horrible.

I know that kids get gross diseases in the US, too, but everything here is always so dirty! When my kids get something contagious, I have a hard time loving other kids. I start seeing them as germ/fungus disasters waiting to contaminate my babies. Blech. I hate that.

My cats have fleas. I've given them powder and drops. A nest of ants keeps trying to set up camp in our bathroom.

I'm a wreck.

Father to the Orphan

2011-05-27T21:24:00.000-07:00

Today this little girl became an orphan. She doesn't understand. She ran around playing and laughing at her mother's funeral. Her life will never be the same.

Her brother (on the right) is 12 years old. He understands.

Jesus be with Sergio and Mia tonight. Fill them with your peace in the middle of all the pain. Let them feel your nearness and know that you are their father.

sad things

2011-05-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

There are plenty of things in my life that can bum me out. Especially boys fighting bedtime. I hate that fight.

But beyond that, I'm feeling sentimental, in part from the missionary retreat this past week which brought to mind several difficult situations and disappointing events from the past. I'm a little sad tonight. Instead of thinking about those, here are some things that make me happy, in no particular order:

-How much Ethan loves August. (I trimmed August's fingernails before we left last Monday, thinking I wouldn't need to do it again before we got home, but they are already super long and sharp. Today he scratched his nose. Ethan's response, "Oh, August! Don't scratch your nose anymore. Because I love you so much, and I don't want you to hurt your nose." Then later, "Jesus, thanks that August will not scratch his nose anymore."

-How absolutely beautiful and gorgeous my littlest sister is inside and out.

-How Kyle and I always talk a lot on road trips. We see and respond to so many things in the same way. I love when we are on the same wavelength.

-That Brittani won America's Next Top Model. I was rooting for her from the beginning! And I love her new Audrey Hepburn hair. So cute.

-August's tubby baby legs.

-I found a swimsuit for $18 that I am willing to wear in public.

-I'm going to be home for Audrey's birthday! So excited.

-We didn't have any customs trouble crossing the border.

-I got a lot of shopping done in Texas.

-I hung out with some missionary kids who are teens now, and I really like them. Gives me hope that my boys won't turn out too weird. :)

melody lane

2011-05-17T21:04:00.000-07:00

Sunday highlights:
Great news- I am officially half a pound under my pre-pregnancy weight! Whooo hoo! This took me a year and a half after Ethan, and this time it's only been 4 months. I'm not dieting at all, but I am running 3 times a week and severely limiting my sugar intake.
Terrible news- Apparently there has been some problem with our church building permit, and some government official closed down our church building Sunday afternoon.

Today:
We got up at 2am, and drove 15 straight hours (with a quick stop for lunch and a couple potty breaks) to the border. Both boys were fantastic.

Now I'm here on Harmony Lane, right next to Melody Lane where 13 years ago, I first felt a tug towards missions. I love being here. This street is one of my favorite places to visit.

Good night.

Today I killed a snake.

2011-05-11T15:32:00.000-07:00

It was awful.

Ethan was playing in our backyard with 2 of his buddies. August was kicking around on a blanket a few feet away. I was turning over my poor, neglected compost pile, when I saw it. He was tiny, blue, and lightning fast. I tried to catch him on the pitch fork, but failed. I glanced again and saw him again. Except he was darker. Honestly, it all happened so fast... I think there were 2, a blue one and a black one, but I can't be sure. Maybe the blue was the black one's underside.

Anyway, at the 2nd siting, the snake was slightly slower. Still fast, but catchable, and I managed to get him pinned down. I wanted to be sure that he wasn't just a giant worm. He moved in a very snake like way. I, of course, was yelling like a crazy person. I didn't know what to do? Should I kill it? This snake was 6 inches long. We're talking, baby snake. But speaking of babies... my baby was within wriggling distance! Snakes are good for gardens, but our backyard is really small.

When you grow up somewhere, you learn what to be afraid of. Out in the Indiana woods, I knew that there were only 2 poisonous snakes native to the area. If a snake wasn't rattling and didn't look like a Copperhead, I knew it probably wouldn't hurt me. We even occasionally got little ring neck snakes in our house.

But in Mazatlan, I don't have a native snakes book. Native snakes, spiders, scorpions, and other dangerous bugs of Mazatlan. I need that book. Too bad it does't exist. I don't know if I should be afraid.

Kyle told me to go ahead and kill it, since we didn't want it to grow into a big snake in our backyard. I did. It was awful. I feel horrible. I hoped that typing out my guilt would make me feel better. But I'm still sad. I can kill a roach no problem. I can smash flies and mosquitoes bare handed. I like popping jellyfish on the beach. But snakes are vertebrates. They are a little closer to people on the evolutionary scale. Plus, it wasn't as easy as I thought it should be. I basically just smashed it a bunch of times with a rock. ugh.

At least I sort of have the consolation of knowing my children aren't going to be backyard snake handlers, except I think that there might still be a little blue one.

yuck.
Today I killed a snake.

4 months old

2011-05-08T21:25:00.000-07:00

The first Mother's Day after a birth is special. Today was even more special for me, because it is August's 4 month birthday. He is fantastic. He's deliciously chunky and very content. According to this book, he has reached every 4 month milestone, including the "may even be able to..." category, except for rolling over. He's still much too content to roll. He will scoot however. He loves the walker, which I just got out last week. He can't quite get both feet on the ground at the same time, but he manages to roll all around our tiny kitchen/living room.

He weighs a hefty 18 pounds, 26 3/8 inches long. I don't know the percentiles, but he's a good size. I had to get out Ethan's old 6-9 month clothes last week. All of his 3-6 month pants still fit, but his torso seems unusually long. I have trouble buttoning the smaller size onsies. He's doubled his birth weight. Probably only his grandparents will want to see this video, but here he is smiling away.

Ethan on the other hand seems to have come out of the funk that was really tough on us for a month or two. He's back to his sweet self. On his 3rd birthday he weighed 34.5 pounds, 39 5/8 inches tall. Again, I don't know the percentiles, but he's definitely healthy.

Ethan LOVES David and Goliath. He turns anything and everything into a sling to whirl rocks around at giants and lions. The other night, he was running around killing imaginary lions, when a cockroach wandered by (we were outside). Ethan, kill the cockroach! He jumped away. Uh, I want you to kill it. ha ha ha. He also told me last week that Goliath lives in his heart. Theology according to a 3 year old. :)

um, yeah

2011-05-07T14:11:00.000-07:00

So... yeah. Here I am. In Mexico. It's starting to get hot.

Good bye Iowa City doctors. It was fun working with you again. So proud of our colonia. We had the patient record for all seven colonias. That's the first time in 5 years that we've had more patients that anywhere else. But in all fairness, in most places the numbers were down. Maybe it was the time of year.

Kids get both the week before and the week after Easter off. Then they went back to school this past Monday-Wednesday. Then they got 5 de Mayo off, and they don't have to go on Tuesday either for Mother's Day. That's crazy to me. If they really wanted to celebrate the mothers, they should keep them in school a couple extra hours! ha ha In Mexico, Mother's Day is always the 10th of May. This can be confusing since US Mother's Day also falls on the 10th sometimes. Anyway.... it's vacation time. Maybe no one is sick.

Speaking of health, after about a million copies and trips to the registration office, our family is officially entered into the Mexican socialized health system. It was a slight pain to get set up, and on 2 different occasions, no less than 5 people in front of me in the line. Seriously, Mexicans don't do lines well. But, all 4 of us now have complete medical coverage for the next 3 years for $0. That's right. It was totally free. Vaccines are free. Doctors visits are free. If one of us gets cancer, we get free treatment. They will even give me medicine for free, if they have it.

I realize that it's still a major pain in the neck to actually get anything done in that system. Hopefully we won't need to use it much. But for that price, I'm pretty stoked. I've come to realize that the squeaky wheel gets the grease in that system. Think unjust judge. The more you call and ask, call and ask, eventually you'll get what you need.

August FINALLY got his American passport. It only took 3.5 months. grrr. But, at least it's here. That means, the only piece of paperwork he's still missing is his social security number, which we'll get when we go to Illinois in June. Whooo hooo! sheesh. Tomorrow he turns 4 months old. I'll do a little update on his stats then.

Prayer Request

2011-04-30T17:01:00.001-07:00

I send out prayer updates (in theory) a few times a month. Here's the one I just sent:

This has been a very emotional spring for me. Part of that is to be expected when with a new baby. Also, so much is changing within our ministry as the walls go up on the church building. I'm thrilled to announce that the doors were installed today!
There is a sense of expectation and hope for the future in our groups. Last week we decided on our church's motto. Kyle and I picked several and then had our leaders vote. "Imperfect people full of Christ's love" That's us. We're going to make t shirts. People are really excited about that, actually, as fluffy as that seems.
This whole spring we've been stuck in an uncomfortable tension. Soon. Soon. Soon. I hear myself thinking and saying that word all the time. Soon we'll be able to move into the church. Soon we can have some major outreaches to invite all the people in. Soon we can start Sunday services. But waiting all spring for all those soons has been totally draining.
I'm so excited about the initiative our youth group has been showing. They have been out selling popcicles door to door to raise money for a big youth event that they want to do. The did a mini event on Thursday, but they decided to make it just for girls, since most of the boys are 12 and can be obnoxious. All the boys came anyway and stood outside throwing things at the windows, yelling profanities, and harassing the girls in any way that they could. 2 steps forward, 1 step back.
On a more personal level... Satan has really been attacking Ethan. The past couple months he's been unusually angry and rebellious. I know it's spiritual, because the more prayer he gets, the more he acts like his usual delightful self. He's also had some nightmares. That's been hard on me as well.
Finally, the violence is starting to affect me. The police found more than 100 bullets at the scene of a murder last Wednesday. Nearly all the shots were to his head. His three boys witnessed the event. This happened at 10 in the morning, 2 blocks from my house. I'm not afraid for myself. Apparently the victim had been sleeping with the wife of a druglord. But still, I find myself constantly thinking about those kids and the people who would do such a horrifically violent crime in front of children.
In summary... Please pray for me. I'm feeling pretty emotionally drained. Pray for our little church. Pray for Ethan. Pray for the druglords and for the children who are affected by violent crime. Pray for our youth.
Fortunately, our family is invited to a missionary retreat in 2 weeks. Pray for safety as we travel dangerous roads up to the border.Thank you for praying for us.

Movie Winners

2011-04-26T16:05:00.000-07:00

I hope you had fun. I had fun. But, I think these quizzes are a little too intense to make a blog habit.

The winners
First place: Kyle Benefield.
I know it looks a little sketchy that my husband had all the correct answers and also the fastest time (an impressive 18 minutes), but he has the distinct advantage of living with me, owning the same movies that I own, and watching the same movies that I watch. I promise that he was not allowed to see the quiz ahead of time, and I didn't give him any help.
Second place: Liz, Brent, and Aubrey had all the correct answers. I assigned each an equal range of numbers, and then found an random number generator online. Brent won. Congratulations!!

Thank you to all the participates. Brent, I'll send your prize to your UFL email, unless you tell me to send it somewhere else.

The Answers
1. You are a sad, strange, little man. You have my pity.
Toy Story
2. Squirrel!
Up
3. Momma, another gator got in the house!
Another gator? Gimme that shovel.
Monsters Inc.
4. Hey, howdy, hey, I’m a yo-yo!
Toy Story 2
5. I’m so tired of running rampant in the streets.
Megamind
6. Pretty Please!
The physical appearance of the please makes no difference.
Despicable me
7. What? Did I forget to wipe my mud flaps?
Cars
8. Wow! I've only seen paintings of that painting!
Kung Fu panda
9. Sprechen Sie Englisch?
I sprechen.
What continent is this?
Manhattan.
Hoover Dam! We're still in New York! Abort! Dive! Dive! Dive!
Madagascar
10. Gusteau's already has a face, and it's fat and lovable and familiar. And it sells burritos! Millions and millions of burritos!
Ratatouille
11. It's been a long, hard day, full of emotional turmoil and dinosaur fights.
Meet the Robinsons
12. A cucumber slices much more easily than a coconut. Hai-ya!
The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie
13. I think it's dead.
Oh, really? Do you in fact have an associate’s degree from VermTech? I think he wants you to think he's dead.
Over the Hedge
14. Your umbilical equivocal is up there on your head!
Veggie Tales- The Ballad of Little Joe (the Belly Button Song)
15. This is a hobo suit, darling. You can't be seen in this. I won't allow it. Fifteen years ago, maybe, but now?
Incredibles
16. Uh, who cares if the dog sees a boom mike?
Bolt
17. If I remember my 7th grade diabolical languages class…
Veggie Tales- Lord of the Bean
18. Me he despertado de hyper-sueño en un planeta extraño.
Toy Story 3
19. Okay, so here's another question: Say there's a woman who digs you, right? But you really don't like her that way… now how do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? How do you do that?
Shrek
20. Oh, man. Hey, no hurling on the shell, dude, ok? Just waxed it.
Finding Nemo

Movie Quiz: ENTER NOW!

2011-04-25T10:00:00.000-07:00

It's that time! MOVIE QUOTE TIME! Here's how it works. Figure out what computer animated kids' movie contains each of the following quotes. Write your answer in a comment.

The first person to correctly identify all 20 quotes wins a $20 gift card to amazon.com.

If you happen to be busy when this goes live, never fear. You still have a chance. I will keep the quiz live for 24 hours. After 24 hours, one other entry with all the correct answers will be randomly chosen to win another $20 gift card to amazon.com. If you realize that you made a mistake, fix it in a new comment, as long as it is still within the 24 hours.

Future quizzes will depend on the success of this quiz.

Ready, set, go!!

1. You are a sad, strange, little man. You have my pity.

2.      Squirrel!

3.      Momma, another gator got in the house!
   Another gator? Gimme that shovel.

4.      Hey, howdy, hey, I’m a yo-yo!

5.      I’m so tired of running rampant in the streets.

6.      Pretty Please!
   The physical appearance of the please makes no difference.

7.      What? Did I forget to wipe my mud flaps?

8.      Wow! I've only seen paintings of that painting!

9.      Sprechen Sie Englisch?
I sprechen.
What continent is this?
Manhattan.
Hoover Dam! We're still in New York! Abort! Dive! Dive! Dive!

10. Gusteau's already has a face, and it's fat and lovable and familiar. And it sells burritos! Millions and millions of burritos!

11. It's been a long, hard day, full of emotional turmoil and dinosaur fights.


12. A cucumber slices much more easily than a coconut. Hai-ya!

13. I think it's dead.
Oh, really? Do you in fact have an associate’s degree from VermTech? I think he wants you to think he's dead.

14. Your umbilical equivocal is up there on your head!

15. This is a hobo suit, darling. You can't be seen in this. I won't allow it. Fifteen years ago, maybe, but now?

16. Uh, who cares if the dog sees a boom mike?

17. If I remember my 7^th grade diabolical languages class…

   18. Me he despertado de hyper-sueño en un planeta extraño.

   19. Okay, so here's another question: Say there's a woman who digs you, right? But you really don't like her that way… now how do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? How do you do that?

   20. Oh, man. Hey, no hurling on the shell, dude, ok? Just waxed it.

Salio el monito

2011-04-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

Salió el monito.

This phrase literally means, "The monkey came out."
In Mexico, they say chango for monkey.
Mono usually means doll or statue or even a decoration. So if you hear this phrase in Mexico, it probably means the little doll came out.

A new couple in our church, Mauricio and Paty, recently found out that she is pregnant! They have an adorable not quite 3 year old girl, with the most delicious curls you have ever seen. Paty is 36, and had trouble getting pregnant with their daughter a few years ago, so we've been praying that this baby stays healthy!

Thursday night, Paty felt pretty bad. Friday, she started bleeding heavily. Mauricio took her to the hospital Friday night. Saturday morning, we were rushing around trying to get everything ready for the feeding center, but we worried about Paty in the middle of the chaos. Kyle found Mauricio on the street to get an update. He started by telling Kyle about miscarriage bleeding, and then said, "Salió el monito," holding up his hand to show how small the baby was.

Kyle was horrified and reported a miscarriage to all of the worried women. "He even told me that the baby came out." We all cried a little bit while we made rice and Mexican stew for 100 kids.

In the afternoon, Paty came home. Kyle and I went to see how she was doing. Kyle brought chocolate and wore black. Paty looked great, considering. Mauricio asked me, "Ellen, why are you so serious??"

5 awkward minutes later, we realized that the baby was fine! When Mauricio said the baby came out, he had been trying to say that it showed up in the ultrasound photo!! WoW! Best misunderstanding, EVER!!! Such great news! The best news we could have gotten for Easter! AhhhHHGGGHhhh! I'm so happy. SO, SO, SO, add 300 more so's happy!!!

AND, because I'm so happy. AND because it is Easter. AND because I had a lot of fun making the quiz...

I'm pleased to announce that my first ever movie quote quiz goes live tomorrow at 11:00am MDT. Noon for the Midwest, assuming that I have it scheduled correctly.

Here's how it works. Figure out what computer animated kids' movie contains each of 20 quotes. Write your answer in a comment. You won't be able to see your comment until the contest ends.

The first person to correctly identify all 20 quotes wins a $20 gift card to amazon.com.

If you happen to be busy when this goes live, never fear. You still have a chance. I will keep the quiz live for 24 hours. After 24 hours, one other entry with all the correct answers will be randomly chosen to win another $20 gift card to amazon.com. If you realize that you made a mistake, fix it in another comment.

Good luck!

Sporadically Firing Neurons

2011-04-21T13:35:00.000-07:00

*read quickly* so today i'm thinking about a million things all at once and my brain is going everywhere and im thinking about june and excited about july and may and should we do july or maybe have august be a big deal? and when is this baby going to roll over already? why are both my babies awake during nap time? can't wait to talk about money tonight. i hope that people get excited. tomatoes. sugar. cat attacked my leg while i was sleeping. 2nd story. what was i thinking again?

That's a 30 second glimpse at my brain function today.

So... We are driving to the border for a few days in May for a Vineyard Mexico missionary gathering. I'm looking forward to the trip, even the drive through the mountains. The last time we drove through those treacherous mountains, we left at 3am and watched the sunrise through them. It might have been my favorite leg of a nearly 4,000 mile round trip. I'm looking forward to using our minivan dvd player, shopping in Texas, and not having to pack everything we buy into a couple suitcases to fly home.

We are flying to Champaign in early June. Again, excited. Going to see an old friend get married. Going to be home for Audrey's birthday for the first time in... 7 years???

We're currently planning a huge, month-long, grand opening event to kick off ministry in our building! The only problem is, we don't know when to do it.

August is too content to roll over. Ethan had already rolled over when he was a week younger than August is. That wasn't a very good sentence.

Apparently nap time is over. Ethan has decided that since he is 3, he doesn't need to nap anymore. He will lay in his bed, quietly awake for over an hour, until I finally let him get up.

Tonight we're going to start campaigning for our local people to give money to their church building. I'm really excited about that.

Ethan and his buddy Elias picked 20 green tomatoes several weeks ago. I about lost a gasket. Or is it blew a gasket? I don't actually know what a gasket is. The neighbors who live behind us are working on their house. Part of my giant tomato vine had grown over to their side of the wall. I decided to share the abundance, so I let it be. While constructing, they didn't appreciate my generosity and threw the vine back over into my side. Unfortunately, since it's a vine, this also knocked down a huge chunk of the plant on my side! I lost another 30-40 green tomatoes. While Dad was here, I decided to try to make fried green tomatoes. I didn't use a recipe. I've never seen the movie. I just cut the tomatoes, stuck them in crunched up rice krispies mixed with a little egg, and threw them in some hot oil. ... anything is good with enough ketchup.

This scares me. I've been thinking about it a lot, since I'm totally an addict. I think it's true. More on this another time in a different post.

No cat really attacked my leg. But, I had just fallen asleep for a quick cat nap yesterday when Kyle decided to take a nap, too. He moved the baby carrier right next to my leg, and I jumped up yelling. Funny how reality seeps into dreams. No nap for Ellen.

FINALLY... I hope that next spring we can put a 2nd story on our house. I'm SO, SO, SO, SO, SO (add 6 more sos) excited about this! Our little concrete house will grow to around 1200 square feet from the not quite 600 we have now. Wow!! Hope it works out. I also hope that I don't get pregnant again until after I have that extra space.

10 points to whoever made it through that free write. Also... keep your eyes open and brains sharp, I'm thinking about doing a name that quote kids' movie contest soon. B/c my current favorite genre is G rated computer animations. Not to mention that my attention span can't last a full length drama these days. Here's a teaser: "Frying pans! Who knew? Right?"

Guard Your Tongue

2011-04-19T22:19:00.000-07:00

Jesus tells us that we will one day we will have to account for every idle word we speak.

I thought about that this past week. A man who used to help Kyle and I died. He generously poured his time and energy into loving poor children. He gave us incredible, on the ground, hands on, support for more than a year when we first moved here.

Yet, when I think of him, one interaction stands out as my strongest memory. I remember the time that I stood out in the hot son, carrying a newborn, while he spent an hour telling me everything that was wrong with me and how I had wronged him. Some of his complaints were valid, but a fair number weren't. His marriage was going through a rough spot, and I think he wanted someone to blame.

I took it. I didn't fight back. I let him spend all of that pent up anger on me. I waited for my turn to defend myself, but it never came. Months later, we saw some level of reconciliation, but I never saw him the same way again.

Thinking about anger takes me back to high school. I think of my graduation night. I walked home from my friend's house, alone at 2am after another friend decided it was time to let out everything she had ever disliked about me. Fair or not fair, it tainted the joy of my most memorable friendships.

I think of the gringo visibly shaking with anger as he loudly told me to turn down the sound for worship on Sunday morning. (I have nothing to do with the sound and never have!)

I think of an amazing missionary couple who decided to go home, in part, after being publicly humiliated by a man who didn't agree with their ministry style.

One blow up... That's all it takes for me to lose respect for the angry person. It's okay to be angry. Anger is a healthy, human emotion. It's the explosions that are unfair, immature, and ugly.

Tough conversations are super important to have, especially in ministry. If I had had a tough conversation with that man months before, the explosion probably wouldn't have happened. Who can say. All I know is, if I want to walk with integrity, I can't ever let go and let loose on someone, especially a kid.

Sometimes I feel a blow up is justified. Like when that punk young teen threw her candy wrapper on the floor in the ministry house last week and then just rolled her eyes and walked away when I told her to pick it up...

Good for me, I didn't yell at her. But, I'm not going to lie... It feels good to bad mouth her on the internet to people she doesn't know.

On Again, Off Again

2011-04-14T15:04:00.000-07:00

Last week around this time, August and I hit a stride. We had 3 days where he literally only wet 2-3 diapers a day, because I caught all his pees. (Caught is the E.C. term for taking off the baby's dry diaper, cuing him to pee, the baby then pees, and putting the dry diaper back on.) It was awesome. We were totally in a groove.

Sunday messed us up, because we were gone a good chunk of the day. I put August in disposables when we leave the house usually, and he refuses to pee anywhere but at home. hmmm. We still haven't gotten quite back on track. Oh well. I'm averaging 2-3 disposable diapers a day, including outings and a night. Pretty good I think.

August is 3 months old now. He's hefty. 16ish pounds. 26 inches long. Felix's baby, Mateo, is much smaller, but runs circles around August in terms of movement. He can roll over both ways. August just kind of sits like a brick and doesn't roll. He likes to try to sit up. He can hold his head stead when being pulled by his hands. He smiles a lot and laughed out loud for the first time this week. He's such a delightful baby. He still pretty much only cries when his diaper is wet. And he's been sleeping really well at night. I realized this week, that when he wakes up after a 45 minute nap, usually if I change his diaper and position, he will fall back asleep for another 45 minutes.

He smiles at Grandpa a lot.

Ethan turns 3 tomorrow! I haven't measured him yet, but he's also a big boy. He has about 6 different scrapes on his knees currently- such a boy. He's been going through some boundary testing rebellion in the past few months, but I think that's just part of the big brother adjustment stage. Rebellion for Ethan is still fairly tame. Sometimes he will tell me, "Mommy, I don't want to play with you anymore." He still takes a good nap every afternoon, usually 2 hours, sometimes more. He can almost write his name. He struggles with the "n". He still loves books, school time, and anything related to transportation. He recognizes about half a dozen words, and knows all his letters, big case and little case. He just learning about coloring in the lines.

My dad has been here this past week, and it's been super fun. That's the end of our visitors until Emma comes this summer. Kyle put him to work.

A few pics

2011-04-08T17:21:00.000-07:00

We had a great time with the Duluth Vineyard (love that church!!) Team. I didn't get a chance to blog about all their work. They worked on our walls, did prophetic ministry with our people, grilled burgers until none of them could claim to have any knuckle hair. It was a great time.

My favorite was seeing one of the guys, Mike, really connect with a fairly neglected little boy, Sergio. We were super blessed by having them here.

Also, it wasn't all fun and games with Ethan's aunts and uncles last week. Kyle taught his brothers how to weld, and they made fence posts for the fence that will soon go on one side of the church.

2 is better than 1

2011-04-06T13:47:00.000-07:00

Although 2 kids are more work than 1, the 2nd one is less work than the first.

6 Reasons Why the 2nd is Easier:

1. Someone is always sweet. If one is throwing a fit, chances are the other one is reminding me why I wanted to have kids in the first place.

2. Bathtime. Setting a slippery, squirmy, soapy baby on his brother's lap to wash him is much easier than juggling that same baby alone in a tub.

3. Entertainment. Today August felt a little needy right when I was hoping for a shower. Ethan showed August all his Dr. Seuss opposite cards long enough for me to get clean.

4. Cuteness. I love the bonding. August just beams at Ethan and watches him all the time. Ethan is very protective and helpful.

...I thought I had a couple more, but the baby just woke up. Maybe another day.

New Day

2011-04-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

I feel great!!!

Kyle grabbed Ethan and Uncle Brandon when they woke up this morning and snuck out of the house to go buy some new tires. We have been planning to get new tires this year, but not this week. Kyle busted a tire on a rock when he took his brothers up to the mountains on Friday.

ANYway... point being... I slept until 9:30!!!! Wow. I can't remember the last time that happened. Amazing. Thank you to my wonderful husband for the much needed extra sleep.

Tired

2011-04-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

I am TIRED.

I hear that new moms lose an average of 700 hours of sleep during their baby's first year. That sounds about right to me. August has been giving me 6-8 straight hours the past several nights, but they usually start around 8 or 9 pm, so I'm still up at least once a night.

I'm not just physically tired, though...

I'm tired of kids who don't do what I tell them to.

I'm tired of Ethan boycotting Daddy time.

I'm tired of moms fighting with each other.

I'm tired of getting little random annoying sicknesses. (In the past 2 weeks, I've had, in totally unrelated incidences, persistent headaches, 2 days of low grade fever, an upset stomach, and a week of itchy, red eyes. What the heck?)

I'm tired of French toast.

I'm tired of living on a dirt road and sweeping up mountains of dust.

I'm tired of people choosing the easy way instead of the right way.

I had a pretty rough day yesterday. By the time last night rolled around, I just wanted to grab my two kids and cuddle up in the fetal position on Ethan's bed. But instead, I took care of all the kids at the Vineyard values class. Ethan threw a fit. None of the kids wanted to listen to me. In the middle of all that chaos, I had to listen the latest update in an ongoing (but unchanging) fight between a couple moms. Blech.

Today during worship, I just cried. I love worship. I told Jesus that I was empty. I'm out of anything to give my kids, my husband, my guests, my friends, all the kids and people who want a part of me. I feel like I'm so nothing, but God has been really close to me. I'm kind of a disaster. I'm losing my patience. I haven't been following my Bible reading plan. I have been cheating on my Lent fast. But God is really close to me... teaching me mercy... helping me to lean on him. I feel like someday I'll look back and appreciate this year. But right now, I'm mostly just tired.

Aunts and Uncles

2011-03-28T21:57:00.000-07:00

I have never been an aunt. I've wondered what it will be like. Someday in September, I'll find out!

Aaron and Shannon are visiting us. Ethan and August are getting lots of good aunt/uncle time this week.
With Audrey.

And Brandon, too.

We love all the visitors. It's been really fun. They have been helping us with everything we do, and in return, we take them to the beach.

Which means, I don't have time to think about much to say... just pictures.
August is using the potty now! So cute. We just started with Ethan's old potty this week. In the past 2 days, we're 2 for 3 poops in the potty. I'm pretty excited about that!

Barras de Piaxtla

2011-03-21T11:20:00.000-07:00

After a super full week last week, I really enjoyed my birthday getaway. We went to a little bed and breakfast in a tiny little fishing pueblo called Barras de Piaxtla, (so named for the bars of gold supposedly stashed there by pirates.)

We ate a lot of really excellent food.

We played on the beach.

We went kayaking.

We smacked Ethan in the head every time we saw a mosquito, (although he still had 4 visible bites on his face!) We hiked up Cat in the Hat's hat. Click on the picture to see the hat a little bigger.

Ethan and I dug up a couple dozen little clams to put on our sandcastles. They would look pretty for a while and then dig themselves back into the castle. The place had an outdoor concrete jacuzzi, and since we were the only guests, the proprietor turned the temperature down. August was a little fussy the first night until we got in the jacuzzi. He LOVED it. So did Ethan of course.

We had a very relaxing time. As soon as we returned to the heat of Mazatlan, life picked up speed! A fun team from Duluth spent a couple mornings working on our building and a couple evenings doing ministry. A highlight of their trip for me was seeing one little boy really connect with one of the guys. Both of them cried when they had to say goodbye. I hope they'll be able to keep in touch.

AND... we FINALLY got a picture of August smiling. We've been trying to catch it for weeks! It's slightly blurry, but you can see that smile.

Fun University, a.k.a. Medical Care in Mexico

2011-03-20T18:33:00.000-07:00

Fun University is my new name for the local socialized medical center, Centro de Salud. It usually goes by it's initials.

In an effort to be more Mexican and relate empathetically to my neighbors, I've gotten all of August's vaccines through the socialized system. Felix has been my guide, since she's already done this with her other 3 kids. It stinks.

We spent 2 mornings hanging out in a waiting room full of sick kids to get the original documents to register August and get his Mexican birth certificate. It was totally shady because we had a home birth. The lady helping us basically faked everything, snuck us in (in front of people who had been waiting and waiting) to get a vaccine and made it look like the Mexican midwife attended me, even though she didn't. The vaccine ladies wrote a date on August's vaccination card for me to come back and get his next round of inoculations.

Wanting to do things the right way, on the prescribed date, Kyle and I drove to F.U. with Ethan and August around 8:30am. To get a vaccine, you must show up early, wait in line to get a number, and then wait for your number to be called. Unfortunately, sometimes they only give out 10 numbers, so people line up before the place opens. By 8am, all the numbers had already been given out. But, the lady look at August's vaccine card anyway. Of the 4 vaccines he needed, she told me that they only had 1. Apparently, Mexico is experiencing a vaccine shortage. I decided to wait in line for that 1. I waited and waited, without a number. Kyle took Ethan outside to play. A pushy dad kept knocking on the locked door, trying to get the vaccine ladies to give out numbers. I thought he was just being a jerk, but his kid was 18 months old. He just knew how the system works.

Finally, they opened up to him. He was 4th in line, and I was 1st. They had already given out 17 numbers, but they gave him number 18. 3rd in line lady protested, so the vaccine lady took his number 17 and gave it to me. 3rd-in-Line-Mom got number 18, Pushy-Dad got 19, and the poor woman 2nd in line behind me got something in the 20s. We had our numbers, (and I kept overhearing stupid comments from Pushy-Dad b/c I got "his" number), but they still hadn't started vaccinating anyone! Finally, they let number 1 go in. An hour later, they were almost to the teens when 3rd-in-Line-Mom took matters into her own hands. She started yelling the numbers, and giving each number about 30 seconds to show up before calling the next number.

When I finally made it into the room, they gave August 2 shots. Apparently they did have 1 of the shots they were supposedly out of. They told me to come back in a week for the other 2. The next week, Felix needed to get Mateo's shots, and Kyle needed the car. Felix and I grabbed our babies took the 7am bus to el Centro. It's not a fun bus ride, bouncing over ruts in dirt roads. Luckily, it's still cool in the mornings, and we were among the first on the bus so we got seats! When we got off the bus, we still had to walk several blocks. It was 8:15 by the time we got there, and they had already handed out all the tickets. We waited around, and eventually, the lady told us that they still didn't have any of the vaccines. Felix decided to go ahead and get Mateo registered in the medical system. They needed copies, so we had to cart our babies several blocks looking for an open copy shop. I cursed my giant diaper bag (why do I think I need 8 diapers?!?!) and missed my baby carrier. We basically exhausted ourselves and an entire morning for nothing. Boo.

A couple days later, I happened to meet a guy from F.U. in the street, doing vaccination checks. Of course with the shortage, he didn't have the vaccines we needed. But, he told us that some had come in! F.U. would start giving them out on Wed. since Mon. and Tues. were holidays (Carnaval). He told us to show up early and bring proof of residency. Wednesday morning, Felix and I left, driving this time- no more baby hauling for me- at 6am. We also took Teresa along who had been having some serious abdominal pain, and her little sister Irene who had a bad tooth.

We were there well before 7 and stood outside waiting for the place to open. When they let us in, we waited again at the vaccine counter. The lady came in, checked August's vaccine card, and said, "Sorry we're all out of those vaccines." I recounted everything the F.U. guy had told me on the street, but she said, "They gave them all away yesterday." They were supposed to be closed yesterday!!!!! They did have 1 vaccine that Mateo needed (one of the ones August had gotten 2 weeks before), so Felix got number 2. I didn't get a number. I went to check on Tere. More waiting. After an hour or more, Irene came running down from the dentist line to get her identification paper from Tere. Each family only has 1 paper, and you have to show it for every appointment. Tere had it with her for her general care appointment, and Irene was upstairs waiting in the dentistry line. When they started handing out numbers, Irene was first in line, but didn't have her paper. By the time she got back with the paper, all the numbers had been given out. It didn't matter to anyone with numbers that they had taken advantage of a 10 year old girl following all the rules. Jerks. Irene started to cry.

Another hour passed. Finally, Tere got in to her appointment. They told her she had colitis, even though that didn't match her symptoms. They gave her some pills. The 3 of us went out to the car while we waited for Felix. They still hadn't started giving out vaccines. I was just thinking about nursing August, when Felix ran out to the car. "Ellen, grab August and come quick!" They DID have all the vaccines I needed. The lady at the front was just a cool liar. I ran back in, without a number. Felix told me, "They are going to let you get in, but wait another 5 people first, because they don't want to make a scene."

WHAT???? I WAS HERE AT 6:FREAKING45 AM!! THIS IS MY 3RD VISIT TRYING TO GET THESE FREAKING VACCINES! I AM FOLLOWING ALL THE RULES! Of course, some of the other people in line got suspicious. "What number are you???" What the heck was I supposed to say? Felix wispers in my ear, "Don't tell them you don't have a number." I DON'T have a number. Meanwhile, August was hungry and crying. I couldn't feed him, because I might have to jump up and go in any second. Luckily August fell asleep.

Finally, they gave me a sly nod. The ladies acted really sneaky, like they were really helping me under the table. I didn't even see them give August the vaccines, because they had me filling out paperwork on the side. I assume they actually gave him Rotovirus drops, but I couldn't promise it. I know that they shot him with something, because they woke him up. By now, lunch time for him had WAY passed. He was super hungry, and rudely awakened with a shot in the leg. I wasn't even there by his side when they did it! I rushed over, and the look he gave me broke my heart. I felt like a traitor. "Mommy, what did I do? Why are you treating me like this?"

It was a horrible experience. At home later, I realized they didn't even stamp his card, so I have no proof that he got the vaccines. August was fussy all evening and had a fever that night. A little baby Tylenol later, and the whole ordeal was over.

I might add that poor Tere took a ton of medication for an illness she didn't have, so her pain got worse and worse. Kyle ended up taking her to the hospital at 10pm a week later. He had to carry her from the car to her house. Several tests (all outside the socialized system, so it costs a lot) later, they still don't know exactly what's wrong. It looks like maybe a severe case of parasites near her right lung.

Sometimes being Mexican just plain stinks.

SAD DAD BAD HAD

2011-03-14T06:44:00.000-07:00

This is our family. Not just Dad. Everyone. This whole week since Wednesday. We've had 3 fevers and a million tiny crises... cri-sees? crisis-ez? Blech. Thank goodness it's my birthday.

Actually, my birthday was January 16.

But we are celebrating today by taking a weekend getaway. It's Kyle's birthday present to me. We're driving up the coast an hour or 2 to a cozy little tiki hut to spend a couple nights.

Actually, I don't really know if it's a tiki hut. I just know it's not my house, and I will not be available in case of an emergency. At least I hope I will not be available. And I hope that our family gets a little recharge.

We'll be back Wednesday. Then on Thursday and Friday we're rocking out an awesome Duluth team. Fly high Duluth!

2 months old

2011-03-13T16:19:00.000-07:00

August is 2 months old! Actually, he was 2 months old on March 8. But, with 2 small children, less than a week late on his blog month update is right on time!

He weighed 6kilos 500 grams when he got some vaccines the day after his 2 month birthday. He was 62 cm long. I don't feel like looking that up in English units, but he's big. He basically just skipped 3 month old clothes and went straight to 6. Good thing most of his clothes were Ethan's so it didn't really cost anything to skip a size.

August is a super content baby. He really doesn't cry much. When he does cry, 90% of the time it's because his diaper is wet. We are doing E.C. with him and using cloth diapers, too. Part of the theory behind Elimination Communication is that as a society, we train our babies to go in diapers and get used to feeling wet-ish for long periods of time, which makes it much harder to potty train them. So, I'm not complaining that August doesn't want to sit in pee. I wouldn't like that either. It's just really funny how predictable he is. We have this conversation at least once a day:
Kyle: August, why are you crying? You have your binky. Daddy is bouncing you.
Me: His diaper's probably wet.
Kyle: Didn't you just change his diaper?
Me: Yeah, he peed like half an hour ago, but you could check.
Kyle: August, your diaper is wet!

Then we change it. He stops crying. He's kind of picky about when/how he urinates sometimes. If I take him to the bathroom, and he starts to pee, he has the obnoxious habit of peeing on his socks, or kicking his leg up causing the stream of pee to get dangerously close to my face. If I react to sharply, yell, or move him too quickly, he refuses to pee. Then 10 minutes later, he cries because his diaper is wet.

The way I've described this makes it sound like E.C. is a pain in the neck, but actually I really love it. I like the interaction. I'm not super worried about how successful we are, but he usually does something when I take him.

As to cloth diapers. Again... LOVE! I basically only use them during the day and when we are at home, but that's often enough. Especially since August often pees in the potty, only very rarely do we have to deal with leaks. These are my favorites:

August loves to eat. He loves watching his Mommy and also his big brother. He slept 7 straight hours last night, and then another 3, which is a much appreciated rarity. He sleeps a lot during the day, too.

I don't have him on any kind of sleeping/eating schedule at all. It's too complex for me with basically having a full time job that includes 2 kids. I think with Ethan, I used to get really frustrated when he didn't follow his set schedule, so this is kind of freeing. August is still really little, though. When he gets bigger, we'll probably go to something a little more scheduled.

Ethan still takes a 1.5-3 hour nap everyday. Usually about 2 hours starting around 1:30. He's usually asleep by 9:30pm, although bedtime actually starts much earlier than that. My favorite days are when August sort of naturally falls into that time, too.

And here's a video that sort of catches those fleeting, but breathtaking smiles.

First Love

2011-03-11T10:12:00.000-08:00

We spent the week of Carnaval enjoying a rocking Vineyard conference. It was super fun.

A major first happened... Ethan's first crush.
The first night of the conference, Ethan told me on the way home, "Mommy, did you see that girl? That girl that was SO, SO, SO, so pretty?"
What girl!?!?! Was she small? Like you? yes. Was she a baby? no. Was she in your class? no.
hmmmm. I thought there was a chance he just made this girl up.

The next day, we spent the whole morning looking for the girl. Was it her? no. Her? no. That girl? no. I even asked the teachers of his class. They thought it might be a super cute toddler that he was sweet to, but Ethan said no.

I was about to give this girl up as a mirage, when Ethan grabbed me, "MOMMY! THERE! THERE SHE IS!!!" She disappeared into the crowd, and I only managed to see the back of her head. She had her hair in braids, so I wondered if maybe he just liked her hair. I saw another little girl with braids. Was it her? no.

Later, we caught the girl again. My girl as Ethan called her. I told her mom that my son thinks she has a very pretty daughter. The mom gave me a look that made me not want to talk to her again, but her friend nudged her and audibly whispered, "He has blue eyes!"

The next morning, we happened to stand next to them in the breakfast line, and we were able to capture a couple pictures. Ethan immediately got super shy. He looked down, hid behind legs, and wouldn't talk. But I found out that her name is Lupita, and she's 4 years old.

Separation of Church and State

2011-03-06T15:25:00.002-08:00

This morning both the mayor of Mazatlan and the governor of Sinaloa kissed Ethan on the cheek. They would have kissed August, but he was tucked away in the arms of a friend. Actually, she's more of an acquaintance. I don't really mind passing him around. When they tried to talk to Ethan in English, I mentioned that he speaks Spanish. The mayor, addressing me, then remarked, "You are a young mother." I didn't really know how to respond to that. I think 27 is a pretty average age to have a newborn around the house and definitely isn't young by Mexican standards. In Mexico, a young mom is 13. Maybe he got his post with flattery.

Whatever.

Point being... no, I didn't get up early to drag my children to a political rally, (which would be in violation of my visa.) We were at church. Today the Vineyard celebrated officially completing 12 "works". From what I can figure, completion basically means having some sort of erected structure on a piece of property where outreach of some form, especially feeding hungry kids, happens. The Spanish speaking leaders from all 12 were present in the English church this morning and introduced from the pulpit. I had to raise another eyebrow when our introduction came. "In Doña Chonita, we're just finishing up construction." ...or maybe just starting. I guess that depends on your point of view.

BTW, construction really is coming along! Check out my pictures from Saturday. We're just hoping that enough money comes in to go straight from Phase 1 (enclose the building) to Phase 2 (classrooms, kitchen, and bathrooms).

Anyway, to celebrate all the good work being done to help poor families, the mayor and the governor came. They seem like descent people. The governor got a big round of laughs by insisting that he be an usher for the offering. They both talked about how much they appreciate everything Vineyard does in Mazatlan and especially all the North Americans who spend their time in another country helping out. The governor promised to donate $5000 to pay for 1 month's worth of outreach food.

I don't put a lot of stock in politicians. Most probably have good intentions when they make promises, but maybe don't realize that they lack the power or resources to complete them. In fact, the reason our building is getting walls now instead of 5 years ago goes back to a promise the mayor made back then. He didn't have quite the follow through needed and left us in the lurch.

That was the Sunday service this morning. I guess there were 2 worship songs at the front end. And someone said something about being Christian, although no one mentioned Jesus. If I remember correctly, the mayor did make a reference to a Bible passage. But something bothered me about the whole deal. It might have been all the cheering and standing and clapping. Something inside me says that church should be a place outside of politics. Perhaps if this had been a special event at a different time... but this whole deal happened instead of a Sunday service. I like the idea of switching things up. I like the colonia leaders getting face time in the English church. But politicians doing their politician thing, complete with secrete service and a dozen cameramen, in church on Sunday morning make me a little nervous. I'm very glad the church doesn't rule the state. It didn't work for the Romans. Give Caesar what is Caesar's, and God what is God's.

In other news...
A lady on a cruise ship three or four days ago went to the ship's doctor complaining of stomach pain. The doctor told the ship to get to Mazatlan STAT, and 3 hours later, she had a baby! Didn't even know she was pregnant! I saw the baby this morning. Very cute. 7 pounds. When I first heard, I figured the mom must be morbidly obese, but she's not. They are hoping to get their baby's paperwork taken care of quickly so they can go back home. To which I say... good luck! We still haven't finished everything we have to do for August (which is more than they will have to do, b/c we want to stay here), and we've been waiting on his passport for a month.

Also, last night was a huge youth rally in Madero. I took 7 of our teens. There were probably 100 people there from all the different churches. It was SUPER FUN! I accidentally had my first chance to translate a whole sermon in front of people. I think I did okay.

And, today is the first day of the annual Vineyard conference, which means, my current lack of sleep will only continue. Yeah. So that's what's going on here.

Talker

2011-03-01T20:32:00.000-08:00

Ethan talks a LOT! Lately, he has a constant stream of thought pouring from his mouth. Mostly he asks obvious questions and gives lots of compliments. Here are a few from tonight:

Mommy, are you a girl?
Mommy? I like your jeans, Mommy.
Mommy is August a baby?
I like my baby brother.

Often he'll just repeat things he hears in the form of a question- even commercials.
Mommy, is that zero percent down?
Mommy, did that guy drive?

He really wants to be involved. He laughs when we laugh at tv. Tonight we were watching Top Shot, a reality shooting competition. I was sad because the girl I liked wasn't doing very well. Ethan lovingly stroked my arm and said:
Mommy, that girl is going home to her house. She'll be with her Daddy. At her house. That's okay, Mommy.

A Denny's commercial came on. I said, "Gross. That looks like a heart attack." Ethan quickly responded:
Mommy, we don't like that yucky food. I don't like that either. Mommy, I don't like it.

He also takes a long time to form his questions, once he actually has my attention.
Mommy, did, did that, Mommy, did that person say, Mommy, did, Mommy, did they say that thing?

The one exception... talking in Spanish when there is an English speaker around. When hanging out with Spanish speakers, I usually talk to Ethan in Spanish. He understands me perfectly, but always wants to answer in English. Felix especially gives him a hard time about this, b/c she can't understand what he's saying. Instead of trying to say more in Spanish, he actually stopped talking. For about 30 seconds. Then he was back to asking English questions again. He does speak Spanish to kids with no problems, though.

He's funny.

Just Babies

2011-02-28T18:16:00.000-08:00

Kyle and I looked through some old pictures today. We decided that if either of us were attracted to these people today, we would be cradle robbers! These were taken shortly after we got married way back in 2004. Holy cow. We were just babies! I was mad when the flight attendant asked me if I was old enough to sit in the emergency aisle on our honeymoon, (you have to be at least 14), but no wonder!

Baby Kyle

Baby Ellen

Best Day of His Life

2011-02-27T21:42:00.000-08:00

No one is as satisfied as a full baby finishing up his milk. August grunts, smiles, and half closes his eyes. Life is good. Today was the best day of August's life so far. Keep in mind that he was born just 7 weeks ago.

Last night he slept SO WELL! He went to sleep at 9:30 and didn't get up until 9:45am!!! He woke up to eat twice, but still. It was a wonderful, good, long sleep.

He woke up in a great mood. He laughed and smiled at everyone he could all morning long. He fell asleep though the first part of church and woke up just in time for his dedication. He was really great the whole time.

Great day. Best day of his life.

Ethan said something really cute and funny today, too. But I forget what it was.

Anyway, I hope August has another good night!

Show 'Em a Good Time!

2011-02-24T22:10:00.000-08:00

We really love having guests come visit us. Kyle's parents were here a week ago. Now Don Follis is here. Just to give people a little taste of our life, we made sure to have some excitement for them.

Kyle's parents got to hear machine gun shots at sunrise. The police found a house full of guns. Fortunately, no one was injured.

Yesterday an ex-policeman, apparently turned crooked, was playing his bugle outside his home when two gunmen on a motorcycle shot him a little before noon. This happened a couple blocks from our house. We saw policemen go by at top speed shortly thereafter. Kyle and Don Follis took a walk past the house. Today, you couldn't tell that anything had happened, but here's a picture from the scene yesterday.

http://www.noroeste.com.mx/publicaciones.php?id=664455

All this violence is tragic. Recessions are hard on tourism anyway, but this certainly doesn't help. Disney recently removed Mazatlan from their cruise stops due to violence. Bad news for our beloved city.

Stinker

2011-02-20T20:58:00.000-08:00

I don't have a good nickname for August. I thought we would use Goos, but it doesn't feel natural. Ethan says Auggie. I mostly say Stinker.

Stinker as in... I just took off your diaper and sat with you in the bathroom while you grunted and pooped and peed for 10 minutes, but still as soon as I put on the clean diaper, you find one last squirt to release from somewhere deep within your bowels.

Stinker as in... 2 nights ago you woke up and needed care 8 times in the night! I would have let you cry, because I knew you weren't hungry, but they you pooped, or spit up, or then it was time to eat again.

Last night I cheated. I let August sleep in his car seat. I don't plan to make this a habit, but I was so tired. A-maz-ING! He only woke up once. Is that allowed? Speaking of llowed...

He is so LOUD! August doesn't cry particularly too much, just the normal amount, or maybe even slightly less than average. But he grunts! Wow, does this kid grunt! And loud, too. REEALLYY LOUD! And he squeaks a lot.

I've noticed a few things, now that I'm on to baby #2. I don't worry about Ethan as much. Maybe worry is the wrong word... more relaxed? Saturday morning, while preparing for the feeding center, Ethan was out running around with all the kids like the boy he is, and I didn't know exactly where he was every second, but he seems so big and grown up, I was okay with it. Whereas 2 months ago, I would have been more concerned.

Also, I know that every stage gets better, which makes me anxious for the better stages and less patient with baby life. Yesterday after the terrible night of no sleep, Ethan did a great job of making his brother look bad. He takes care of all his own bathroom needs. He walked right into the room, laid down on his bed, and went to sleep at nap time with no fuss! When he woke up from his nap and August was crying, he sleepily wandered over, snuggled up next to August and I on the bed, lovingly stroked his hand and said, "Don't cry, Baby. Don't cry."

But, then August will give me a flash of a smile, where I see that someday he's going to have dimples. Then he curls himself into a little ball on my chest and falls asleep. Then he makes that funny "o" face with his eyes wide open. Then he squeaks when I move him. And I know that I'm going to die of love. My little heart is literally going to explode.

He's so fat. Ethan wasn't nearly so fat or wide. What will he be like? They are already so different and so the same, my two little boys. I hate that I'm always comparing them. I hope they won't resent me for that.

I'm usually a little behind on the latest US pop culture. I had heard friends mention Mumford & Sons, and their Vineyard connections, but hadn't looked them up. A few years ago, I was really excited to receive prayer from Elanor Mumford (mother of the band), but left disappointed because she tried to knock me over. I hate that. But then Kyle was watching the Grammys (people watch that crap?) and I overheard a rock awesome band playing behind Bob Dylan (who incidentally also has some random Vineyard connections). It was Mumford & Sons! And they rock! And I love it! I had Kyle download their cd. I spent the morning cleaning the house and dancing. I danced with August until he fell asleep and then with Ethan until my arms were about to break. The highlight was a sandwich dance with Ethan between Kyle and I. And it felt really great. I have to savor these moments. Stop wishing that August could poop on his own and tell me cute little snippets.

Here's a great one from Ethan yesterday, "Mommy, you know, walking makes me craAAAAAAzy or loco or something like that." ha ha

And here's a picture of August and his best friend, Mateo. My baby is the hairless fat one.

and...

DON FOLLIS IS IN THE HOUSE! Woot!

The Tummy Dilemma

2011-02-16T20:24:00.000-08:00

We've been enjoying visitors this week. Here are a couple shots of the grandparents doing very grandparently things.

I also have a couple new videos up.

Babies are a lot of work. We took care of Mateo for about 6 hours today. Even though we were 4 adults to 2 babies and Ethan, it still made me very thankful that we don't have twins! As soon as one fell asleep, another woke up.

Speaking of baby sleep...

I don't know anyone, thankfully, who has ever lost a baby to SIDS... At least not that I know of out of people who have had a baby in the past 30 years. And... in my limited experience, babies sleep much better on their tummies than on their backs.

I know this increases SIDS risk. But, the risk seems so low, especially in a non-smoking environment. If the mattress is firm and flat, and the crib area is relatively clear and open... I've been taking the risk.

I know August isn't quite a month and a half old yet, but his neck is pretty strong. He can definitely move his head around and from side to side while laying on his tummy. I usually tummy sleep him only during the day. Although, since we have guests this week, August's crib is in our room, where I can monitor him easily from a reclined position. So, I've been letting him sleep on his tummy. I feel like a rebel, which isn't really a good thing when it comes to precious children. But I'm really tired, and I want my sleep.

Weigh in moms. What do you think? Do you risk it? Have you seen good results?

I had to do it!

2011-02-09T20:51:00.000-08:00

I couldn't take August's hair anymore. Today I gave him his first hair cut. I know that 1 month old is pretty young to start, but he looked like this guy:

Anyway, I don't have any before and after pictures, but honestly you can't really tell. Now he looks like a normal baby instead of a weird old man.

Babies

2011-02-07T09:00:00.000-08:00

Babies live 100% in the present. They have no concept of the future. They don't remember the past. If they hurt, they cry. When the hurt goes away, they don't even remember it. When their tummies are full, they don't know what hunger is. It's a good reminder for me.

August turns 1 month old tomorrow. Already life is easier. Nursing is great. He sleeps a normal amount. He cries a normal amount. He makes a lot of really funny faces. August is a fantastic little guy. We had a check up on Friday. He's healthy and growing. (5.22 kg, 58 cm- I don't feel like converting to English right now) I can't believe how much he's plumped out. I haven't taken any pictures since last Tuesday when I took this one of Mateo and August hanging out together. This was before Mazatlan's mini freeze out.

Notable characteristics- super strong legs. August loves to stand up. He uses every muscle in his body, clenches his fists, grunts, and holds his entire body straight up. Then when he gets tired, and I sit him down, he cries because he wants to do it again. Another notable characteristic- big eyes! He makes the funniest big eyed faces. I especially love it when he opens his eyes really wide and squeezes his lips into a little O. It's funny.

We got kicked out of our ministry house last Tuesday, so everything that was in that house is currently in our backyard, meaning I haven't been able to do laundry for a week! Bad news. Good thing August is ready for the next size of clothing, so I have lots of clean stuff. Kyle's parents are coming to visit on Friday. It's so fun having visitors! We just have to get rid of all the stuff in the backyard first. It's going somewhere tomorrow. ...not sure where. Anyway, I love my boys.

I'm cold.

2011-02-04T13:34:00.000-08:00

It got down to 37 degrees last night!

Now, I know I won't get much sympathy. But before you tell me that 37 would feel like a heat wave in the Midwest, remember that Mexican houses don't have heaters. The temperature inside is roughly equivalent to the temperature outside. Do you keep your thermostat set at 40 degrees? I didn't think so.

Not only that, but our house doesn't have hot water. Every time I wash my hands, my little fingers turn into fingersicles.

It was so cold this morning that Kyle dug deep into the darkest corner of our little shed to pull out his college space heater- which hasn't been used in at least 4 years.

Yeah, I still can't really complain about the weather, I know. We've been considering a winter trip back to Illinois sometime so that Ethan can experience snow (wouldn't be for at least another year), but I don't know if we could handle it anymore!

Food Maturity

2011-01-31T21:22:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about food lately.

My mom got me this book, which resonates with the direction I've already been thinking. I used to always give my mom such a hard time for trying to make us eat strange foods in the name of health, but as my tastes and ideas mature, I appreciate her wisdom.

I like things I've never liked before. For instance: raisin bran. Who knew!? I complain about the lack of healthy cereal options in Mexico. I basically lived on Cheerios during my first trimester. Now I discover I actually really like raisin bran. I also like sweet potatoes, but only sauteed. The thought of a sweet potato covered in brown sugar and marshmallows still makes me want to gag, but I think my problem is more with the texture. When cubed and sauteed, they really just taste more like a fried potato with a little flavor and more vitamins.

I blame breast feeding for how much I think about food. By August's 5 am feeding, when my caloric output over the past several hours is significantly higher than my caloric input, I feel ravenous. I'm craving good fats. I want to put olive oil on everything. I could eat an entire salmon by myself.

Today for lunch, along with sweet potatoes and my sad excuse for falafal, Kyle made the freshest, most delicious caprice salad. MMMMMMmmmMMMM! We picked the basil and tomatoes from my one tomato plant and one basil plant. I bought queso fresco from a local farmer this weekend. Wow, it was superb. I also made a smoothie out of 2 brown bananas that no one wanted to eat, some frozen strawberries, and oj.

And, in case you are thinking, "Ellen, who cares about food. I just want to see that cute new baby!" Here is a fairly boring (but cute) video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCOFFKdvmMk . And a picture.

Closer to Home

2011-01-31T21:01:00.000-08:00

Drug violence took Mazatlan by storm the week between Christmas and New Years. 3 people were gunned down (and died) in a house 2 streets away from ours. Yet, even with the violence being so nearby, it's still so targeted that I don't feel afraid.

During that same time, some drug guys went to a local car wash looking for the owner. Maybe he owed them money. Maybe he sold drugs for a rival gang. He wasn't there, so they shot (and killed) 6 people: 2 customers and 4 employees, one of whom happened to be Jorge and Dora's son-in-law. Jorge and Dora live near us. We know their daughter. She's 20 or so, and has a 2 year old girl. Now that 2 year old will live the rest of her life without a father. It's all so senseless.

Last week, in the middle of the night, a van drove up to a nice hotel in the Golden Zone. Ask any Mazatlecan, and they will tell you that a famous drug lord owns this hotel. Dangerous men pushed their victim, duct taped, and tied up, out of the van. He had already been tortured. They shot not only him, but the whole glass front of the hotel.

Kyle used to go to a men's Bible study that meets in this hotel's restaurant. The day after the shooting, new dry wall covered the former glass entrance as if nothing had happened. A few days later, Kyle and I ate lunch at one of our favorite restaurants, which happens to be across the street. The entire hotel has been totally shut down. Their signs are gone. The windows and doors are closed and boarded. Somehow, this scene just disturbed us more than the news we see or rumors we hear. Apparently, that victim was intended to send a message to someone, who apparently heard and responded loud and clear. One act of violence, and an entire hotel staff is out of work. We ate our lunch and thought- someone was murdered here a few days ago, and died right here, a few feet away. It's a bit surreal.

Anyway, I still don't feel that we are in danger. But I have to admit, the past month or so, the violence feels a little closer to home.

Sweet and Sour

2011-01-26T20:28:00.000-08:00

The first 6 weeks of newborn life are the hardest.

I keep reminding myself. Not that life has been unbearable or anything, but all the sleepless nights and sore nipples get old pretty quickly. Fortunately, we're treating the thrush, so the 2nd problem is already going away. And, I did get a descent nap today, so I can't complain. I just wish I had time to clean my floor. And answer my emails.

My hormones make me very emotional. One minute I feel like I'm going to explode I'm so full of love. An hour later, and I find myself thinking, "Can't you just be grown up already?"

Ethan has been emotional too. We have a rule in our house. Unless he is in physical pain, Ethan is not allowed to cry. He has to go sit in his room until he stops crying. Usually, that works pretty well. He sobs on his way to his room, sits down for 5 seconds and then yells, "I'm done crying!" But, with August around, Ethan has been spending a lot of time in his room. He's been testing his boundaries and pushing the limits of what he can get away with. I understand. It's a lot of change for a little guy. I never felt like he had a "terrible twos" stage, (at least not since he turned 2... 18 months old was another story,) so I guess he has to go through some of that stuff at some point.

But he's the same as me. He freaks out about something one minute, but then is sweeter than honey the next.

Tonight I read Ethan a Bible story from a Spanish children's Bible. After each story, it has questions about the story. I asked, "Who killed Goliath?" Ethan answered, "ETHAN!" Then at bedtime he told me that he and August had some really cool new slingshots, and they were going to kill Goliath together.

His phrasing cracks me up. "It's like I kind of have to pee," he says before going to the bathroom. "I don't did like that food," he will say instead of using "didn't".

Today at lunch Ethan asked for and ate 4 helpings of vegetable-tofu stir fry. Tonight he helped me snap green beans.

He recently figured out how to take pictures with our camera. This means that I now have close ups of our refrigerator, the couch material, August nursing, the rug on the floor, etc. It's fun to look through his shots, especially when I forget that he took the pictures. "Why are there so many fuzzy pictures of our bathroom?"

Today we started trying to get a descent passport picture for August. Easier said than done, for sure. Eyes must be open. Background 100% white. Facing forward. Try propping a baby's head up without making shadows. August wasn't a huge fan. Speaking of which... enough procrastinating. I should be filling out August's US citizenship paperwork right now.

My 2 little boys are the best ever. Totally fantastic. Especially when they are both asleep.

Tips for Choosing a Husband

2011-01-24T16:57:00.000-08:00

We took August to church for the first time yesterday. Going to just the Spanish church was really fun. Our favorite pastor, Juan Carlos Amaya, from Mexico City, was the visiting preacher (FTW! -For the Win!). Anyway, during ministry time, he asked all the married couples to stand up. Just then Ethan came out of Sunday school. Kyle held Ethan and I held August while JCA prayed over all the couples. I had an arm on Kyle's arm, and then Ethan reached over and grabbed August's hand. In that moment, I felt more alive than I ever have in my whole life. Babies make life so real. ...I'm not expressing myself very well. Anyway, it was a really neat moment.

I felt so incredibly blessed, surrounded by my 3 men. Speaking of my main man, Kyle has been fantastic through the whole second baby transition. We both laughed quite hard when we saw this commercial the other day (click on the video in the lower left corner). It totally depicts Kyle when he's feeling bad. But, he's healthy right now, and very sympathetic to my slow healing process. August and I are both battling a horrible thrush outbreak that has been making nursing pretty miserable the past 24 hours or so. Kyle's been very understanding and helpful.

Anyway, back to Kyle. Besides looking for a compassionate man who will bounce with a baby at 1 am when his wife just wants to sleep, I also recommend choosing a husband who will make you laugh. Kyle recently acquired some voice and music mixing software. In his free time he's been "laying down a beat" that is strikingly reminiscent of Ross's Music from Friends.

Kyle also has the amazing ability to pick up radio waves that no one else can hear, and then he's off singing a song that he hasn't heard in years. The other morning at breakfast, he jumped up and said, "What is that song?" Turns out he was randomly singing Bohemian Like You, a fun song that came out 10 years ago, when we were in high school. I liked that song back in the day, but hadn't heard it in years. A little while later, I walked into our bedroom to find Kyle gazing adoringly into August's eyes singing, "Cuz I like you! Yeah, I like you." Awwww.

Of course, it's hard to turn Kyle's radio off. He wonderfully decided to attack the huge pile of dishes stacked on the sink last night, which means he needed headphones with some rocking music. That also meant that I was trying to nurse through intense thrush pain and a headache while he exercised his lungs. But, being the caring husband he is, after I protested, he sang more softly.

In summary, Kyle is the best thing that ever happened to me. We make great babies. He makes me laugh a lot. And when you get married, make sure you pick a sensitive man who makes you laugh.

2 weeks old

2011-01-23T19:16:00.000-08:00

The time is flying by. I can't believe how quickly August is filling out. He looks different already.

Big eyes

I LOVE Elimination Communication. We're just starting with August. We cue him to use the bathroom maybe 3-4 times a day so far, and he actually goes about 3/4 of the time. Cuing him is so fun! Especially compared to all the interaction we get from Ethan, a newborn seems so mysterious. He cries. Are you crying because your diaper is wet? Are you hungry? Tired? Is your sock pinching your toes? Do you need to burp? There are a million different things, and it's just guess and check for the most part. But, when I hold August in the bathroom and make a little grunt noise, he looks up happily into my face, and grunts back! He responds to my signal. Then when he poops, I know we're communicating. I suggest something, and he reacts. Anyway, it's a blast.

Ethan is such a fantastic brother. He holds August. He brings me diapers. He patiently waits when Mommy is busy nursing. He gives LOTS of kisses. Sometimes he'll run up to me all excited and say, "I'm a big brother!" Other times he'll ask, "Mommy, are you sure August is hungry? Can you nurse August now?"

His pronouns are fun, too.

"Can I hold my baby?"

"Mommy, your baby is crying!"
Or my favorite, when we showed August to the doctor, "I don't want the doctor to take our baby!"

And he takes pictures.

Before He Can Travel

2011-01-19T20:32:00.000-08:00

Registering a baby is no easy task in Mexico. But, I'm happy to say that we've completed step 1!

# of investigatory phone calls to minimize # of trips: 4
# of trips: 2 to Centro de Salud
   1 to the house of the Centro de Salud lady who was supposed to help us
   1 to the Mexican midwife's house
   2 to copy shops
# of hours invested so far: 6-8 (depending on whether or not you count driving)

Now we have to repeat the process at a different location to turn the 1 piece of paper we were able to get today into a birth certificate.

Then we go to another office to get a CURP # (kind of like a social security #)

Then we have to get id pictures taken, get a pictured and stamped letter from a pediatrician.
Finally, we'll take all of that to another office to get a Mexican passport made.
Oh, and we have to go back to Centro de Salud to get him signed up for Mexican socialized medical care.

After all of that, we have to go to the US consulate to start the Consular Report of Birth Abroad process, get an American passport, and get him a social security #.

This could be a full time job.

A Couple Updates

2011-01-17T20:12:00.000-08:00

Chicken Update: Kyle gave Lucky BoCheep to a guy in our small group. We no longer own a chicken. I'm a little bit sad, but 90% relieved. We gave him away on Thursday... no word yet on whether or not he's still alive.

Garden Update: We have ripe tomatoes! After 6 months of babying that dumb tomato plant, the tomatoes so far have been anticlimactic after having a baby. I haven't even taken any pictures.

August Update: August weighed 9 lbs. 11 oz. at a doctor's appointment today! That was with clothes on, but still. He's a good eater. Also into more of a sleeping/eating rhythm, which I appreciate.

Divine appointments:
After weeks of trying, today we totally coincidentally were able to connect with the lady who will start the registration process for August's birth certificate. We meet with her tomorrow at noon.

After lots of calls going straight to voicemail, last Friday, we were finally able to connect with the architect working on the building walls. We're meeting him tomorrow at 10.

Finally, I busted some of my stitches on Friday, and even more on Sunday, so I spent the majority of my birthday in bed hating doctors and stitches. And then today, after losing all of my remaining faith in Mexican doctors when a jerk lady hurt Ethan, Katie, the best PA ever randomly called me just because she is awesome. I desperately needed some medical encouragement, and she couldn't have called at a better time.

Some time I'll have to make a post about all of our experiences with Mexican doctors. But that's for another day.

Mateo Immanuel

2011-01-14T19:46:00.000-08:00

For those who have been following my dear friend Felix's saga, Mateo Immanuel was born this morning at 1am. He was 5 days late and weighed 7lbs. 10 oz. Momma and baby are both doing well. She went to the hospital last night around 11 pm, and was already back home today by 5pm.

Although I'm sure he and August will have lots of great times together in the future, when they met for the first time today, neither of them was very interested in the other.